


Roses Are Red

by JudyOct98



Series: Heart's Afire [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudyOct98/pseuds/JudyOct98
Summary: Neelix devises a way for the crew to celebrate Valentine’s Day on board.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Series: Heart's Afire [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605589
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34
Collections: Janeway/Chakotay Fics





	Roses Are Red

Rating: R

Roses Are Red  
By J.A. Greene

Hither, my love!   
Here I am! Here!   
With this just-sustained note I announce myself to you,   
This gentle call is for you my love, for you 

\- Walt Whitman 

Captain's Log Stardate 54029.12  
Voyager has successfully finished trade agreements with the Pendara in obtaining several needed supplies in food, dilithium and most important of all, deutronium. The crew and I have found these people very hospitable and have extended their good will by granting us several more days to relax. I have taken them up on this offer since this past month the crew has been under extreme stress. I intend to visit their wonderful gardens and shops. Log out. 

Kathryn Janeway sat back in her chair in the ready room with a sigh. She then stood up and walked out to the bridge. Her eyes caught her longtime friend and first officer, Chakotay in his chair on the command level. Her tactical/security officer, Tuvok at his station, Tom Paris, her best pilot at the helm just relaxing while the ship stayed in standard orbit above the beautiful, blue planet below them and Harry Kim, her young, but now very mature and responsible operations officer. 

"Harry open a channel to the ship," she ordered. 

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "Channel opened." 

"This is the captain," she said. "Now that our trade agreement with the Pendara has been completed and fulfilled, they have extended their hospitality for a few days shoreleave, which I'm aware we all need. The ship will depart in three days at 0700. Check with Commander Chakotay on new shift rotations. Enjoy yourselves, you deserve it," she nodded to Harry who cut the transmission. She turned to Chakotay, “commander you'd better get started on those new shifts, we only have three days." 

He smiled at her gently with a nod, "yes, Captain," and he stood up walking off the bridge. 

=/\=

Once shoreleave was announced, Neelix took his chance to visit a Pendaran botanist to acquire some seedlings for the airponics bay. Since these seedlings weren't a necessary part of the trade agreement, he figured he'd be able to acquire these for special occasions. 

He walked around one of the greenhouses gazing at the numerous and colorful flora that surrounded him. His attention was diverted to a table of red flowers on long stems partially bloomed. He walked over to them amazed at their color and beauty. 

"Excuse me," he said to the botanist nearby. "What are these beautiful flowers called?" 

The botanist, who had a high forehead with soft ridges alongside the temples, shoulder length black hair, large black eyes set apart against fair skin, turned to him. He walked over, "those are called in more known terms as the flower of love." 

"Hmmm," he said, his mind thinking. "They look like the roses we grow in our airponics bay. But we've never grown them in this beautiful color. Why do they seem to become a deeper red like that?" 

"These flowers can sense only pure love," the botanist told him. Neelix looked at him, "when grown like this, they only bloom this way, but if given to another in pure or true love, they open completely." 

"Do they require much maintenance?" he asked him. 

“Not much more than any other flower," he replied. "Just moderate room temperature and enough water. They'll bloom for several weeks." 

Neelix's mind was thinking about all the Earth holiday's he'd read up on. He knew there was one that surrounded romance, but couldn't remember the name of it. He knew that was thing lacking on board, romance. It was there, he'd seen it expressed by many different crewmembers, but not really acted upon. The only two who finally acted on it were B'Elanna and Tom with their recent wedding a month before, a happy time among the crew. 

Perhaps it was time he try to get a few more weddings performed on board. The captain just glowed with pride while performing Tom and B'Elanna's ceremony, but it was afterward he saw the loneliness in her eyes and how Chakotay stood by her after as well, as if to offer moral support. He also saw some loneliness in the commander's eyes, but when he was with the captain, he was content. That's when he got an idea. 

"How many flowers do you have available?" 

"Several hundred," the botanist replied. "They are in season right now." 

"Good," he said with a smile. "May I put about two-hundred on hold? I have an idea where I might need that many." 

"Of course," he said with a nod. 

"I'll let you know by," he told him, "the end of the day. I just need to research something." 

An hour later, Neelix had the information he needed, and it turned out it was just under two weeks before that particular day and he had a wonderful idea. So he contacted the botanist, arranged a trade for the flowers and had them beamed aboard to the cargo transporter. He managed to recruit two crewmembers to help him carry the cases to the airponics bay. 

=/\=

Chakotay walked up to the ready room door and chimed it, she answered letting him enter. He walked in finding her sitting on her sofa with a cup of coffee and reading a padd. He took a second before she acknowledged him to gaze at her tenderly, it turned out it took less than that time. 

"Yes, commander?" she asked him gazing up at him briefly as he stepped up to her. 

"I was curious if you planned," he said, "on taking advantage of this shoreleave you granted?" 

She looked at him, “of course," she smiled. 

"Would you like to join me?" he asked her curious. "I've heard they have some wonderful garden's down there. The fresh air will do you good." 

Kathryn stared at him, seeing the care he had for her in his eyes. She sighed, "perhaps another time." 

"Are you sure?" he asked. 

She nodded, “yes, but thank you anyway," she said. He nodded, "anything else?" 

"No," he told her. "I'll be around if I'm needed," and walked out. She sat there staring after him knowing he was disappointed, but knew she had to do it to keep the barrier uncrossed. She sighed and went back to reading the padd novel. 

=/\=

He was just a little mad, just a little. Kathryn was so closed to him at times, like she was afraid to open up to him. He really wanted her to go down with him so they could talk like they'd used to. But since her mission on the Borg cube and his brainwashed attempt at taking over the ship, courtesy of Tiro, she just shut herself off to him. She was cordial with him, but he didn't sense her closeness anymore. He knew she was hurt and angry over the mutiny attempt, even though she knew it wasn't his fault. 

But he'd been trying ever since to make it up to her, and she wasn't responding.

So he walked the corridors of the ship, most of them quiet since the ship was working on a skeleton crew because of shoreleave. He had to think of a way to get her to open up to him again. 

He rounded a corner near airponics and saw Neelix enter with a container. He stopped for a moment thinking, he knew the trade was finished, so what was he doing? 

He was curious enough to investigate, so he walked down the corridor to the double-doored cargo bay. He walked in and found himself surrounded by almost a hundred brilliant, colored roses or at least they looked like roses. Neelix had put the cases on collapsible tables throughout the room. 

"Neelix," he said looking around for the Talaxian. “What's going on in here? Where'd all these flowers come from?" 

Neelix appeared from behind a table, “oh, Commander. I though I'd heard someone enter, but I thought it was one of the ensigns." He saw Chakotay's inquisitive stare, he sighed walking out from behind the table. “Oh, you'd like to know -?" Chakotay nodded, "well I -ah, acquired these on a fair trade from a botanist," he started. 

"Why?" 

Neelix shrugged, "I thought I'd hold a special secret admirer club on board. You see, I've seen so many romances that needed a little push, so I thought this was a good idea to put these couples together. I read up on your Earth holiday, Valentine's Day and thought it worked well. I mean, since Tom and B'Elanna's wedding, everyone has seemed so...romantic." 

Chakotay smiled putting his hands on his hips, "Valentine's Day? How do you propose this'll help the crew, other than pair more people up?" 

"Good for morale," he replied simply. "I plan on bringing this idea to the captain before I introduce it. Do you think she'll approve?" 

He thought for a moment and glanced around at the sea of red before him. He sighed, "I don't think she'll object," he said. "Well, carry on," and he left. 

Captain's Log stardate 54029.15

This morning the ship has left the Pendaran system. The crew appears rested and relaxed. We are back en route for the Alpha Quadrant well supplied and barring no unforeseen circumstances, we should be stocked up for quite awhile. Log out. 

Kathryn sat back and picked up Tuvok's security report and began to read. She heard her door chime, "come in," and the doors slid open admitting Neelix. "Goodmorning Neelix, to what do I owe the pleasure?" 

"For you, Captain," he replied pulling one rose out from behind his back handing it to her. 

She took it with a gentle smile, "thank you, it's beautiful. Why?" 

He sat down in front of her desk, "well, I thought of a new way to boost crew morale -" 

"-They just had shoreleave," she told him. "I figured morale was up by now." 

He nodded, "oh, it is, but this if for a different type of morale." She sat back again waiting for him to continue. "I thought it'd be sort of fun to have crewmembers give them in sort of a secret admirer exchange." 

Kathryn raised her eyebrow, intrigued at his suggestion, "that's a lot of flowers Neelix." 

"I've got just over," he replied, "two hundred to give away -" 

"' -Two hundred'?" she asked shocked. “Neelix this suggestion is creative, but what makes you think there are crewmembers who want to pair up?" 

"I've read about an old Earth holiday," he told her, "called Valentine's Day. Well, we're right in the season for it and since Tom and B'Elanna got married, I could tell everyone was real happy over it." He paused for a moment, and then added, "are you aware Captain, that there are 66 singles on board?" 

Kathryn sat there shocked at this new information, she sighed, "I had no idea. I mean, since being stranded here over seven years ago, I wondered why I haven't performed any more marriages." She then realized she was included with that figure, perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea. She gazed at him, "how do you plan to implement this 'exchange' Neelix?" 

"I thought about announcing it," he replied, "on my daily briefing. I thought the best way would be for those who'd want to give someone flowers would be to message me anonymously and address it to whomever is supposed to get them. I'll hand deliver them personally." 

Kathryn held the flower gazing at it, seeing its beauty, "is that all?" 

"Well," he replied, "now that you ask," he paused. "They have to be given in pure love for them to bloom all the way." 

She sat there in thought, and then sighed, "okay Neelix, give it a shot. Send me a finished plan in the next two hours. We'll see what happens." 

Neelix smiled standing, “oh, thank you Captain! You won't be disappointed," and he left. 

She smiled at his departure and picked up the padd again and began reading. 

That next morning, after breakfast was through, Neelix sat down with a few flowers in front of him and his video feed. 

"Good day everyone!" he said cheerily. "Have I got a wonderful new idea to share with everyone, of course approved by the captain. See these beautiful roses here? Well, I discovered this time of year was Valentine's Day, which by our stardate is just under two weeks away. For those of you who haven't heard of this romantic holiday, a very old Earth custom. Valentine's Day is named in memory of St. Valentine of Rome, Italy who died back in 269 A.D., for helping Christian martyrs. From this, he also became the patron saint of lovers as the church adopted the fertility festival, Februarca, also known as 'The Feast of Purification."

He sighed, "now these roses signify the ancient symbol of the Goddess, in full sexual maturity. Roses were sacred to the Greek Goddess of Love. Now I have over two hundred roses cultivating in the airponics bay. So any of you would-be lovebirds would like to send some to your intended, you may message me personally, but it has to be anonymously. This is the reason why it's to be called the Secret Admirer Exchange. For the next two weeks, I will deliver those to be given in love, pure love, or they won't bloom completely. And, the sender has to reveal himself or herself to the person either in public or private. The couple that receives the most flowers will be crowned this year's Voyager couple, and compliments of myself, receive two days holodeck rations." 

He took a breath, "I think that'll do it. So go ahead, start making your requests. I'll deliver after breakfast, lunch and dinner. Goodbye everyone, Happy Valentine's Day." He cut the transmission. 

Within the next hour he had twenty requests. 

=/\=

Kathryn sat in her chair in thought on the bridge reading an updated tactical report since Chakotay currently was taking his late lunch. She saw out of the corner of her eye Neelix enter the bridge carrying a small bouquet of roses. 

“Goodafternoon everyone!" he said happily. "I've got some flowers here to give away," he walked over to an ensign at engineering handing her two. Then he stepped up to the command level and walked over to her. "Here you go Captain." 

Kathryn's gaze looked up from the padd, she saw Neelix holding out a rose to her. Shocked, she said, "what? For me?" 

“Yes, Captain," he replied with a smile handing it to her. 

She stared at it, then sighed taking it with a nod, "thank you Neelix," and he walked away heading up to Harry's station. She sat staring at it, curious who sent it to her, the report forgotten at the moment. Then she figured it probably would be the only one she'd receive, so she put it beside her near the command display, which currently wasn't opened. 

A few minutes later Chakotay stepped up to the command level, he walked over and sat down. His gaze caught the flower, he picked it up. "For you?"

She glanced at him sideways, and then nodded with a sigh, “yes." She added, "I was a bit shocked to get it actually." 

"Why?" he asked her. 

She shrugged, "I'm the captain. It's breaching protocol for the captain to receive flowers from anyone in the crew." 

"What if it was sent," he suggested, "out of pure admiration?"

She stared at him in thought for a moment, she looked for answers in his expressionless face. He was closer to the crew, knew them better than she did, he'd knew who sent it. But his face revealed nothing. She sighed, "nice thought, Commander. But I'm not buying it," she stood up. "I'll be in my ready room, you have the bridge." She turned towards the room, and then stopped for a moment. She knew he was watching her, she made up her mind, turned back to her chair and saw him casually holding the rose out to her. She raised her eyebrow, stepped forward taking it, turned on her heel and walked out to the ready room. He smiled watching her retreat. 

=/\=

Hours later when Alpha shift had ended, Kathryn walked down the corridor to get dinner ready for her and Chakotay's regular weekly meeting to discuss crew reviews and other matters. 

Although she didn't have the heart to throw the rose she received out, she decided to put it in vase in her ready room until it lost its bloom. 

She was almost to her quarters when she heard her name being called. "Captain! Captain, wait!" She stopped and turned around to see Neelix walking up to her, carrying some flowers. 

"Yes, Neelix?" she asked. 

"I just wanted to let you know," he replied, "that this exchange has been getting a wonderful response." She smiled a little, "I've been delivering several flowers after each meal today. In fact I am now, here you go," he gave her another one. 

"Again?" she asked shocked. 

He frowned, "yes, that's okay isn't it?" 

She sighed, “Neelix receiving flowers from a crewmember is breaching protocol, and it puts me in a very awkward position." 

They began to walk again, "forgive me for saying this Captain. But what makes you think it's a crewmember?" 

She glanced at him, "who else could it be?" 

He shrugged, "well, someone on the bridge crew could have." 

She shook her head, "nobody I could think of," they stopped outside her quarters. 

"How do you know?" he asked her. 

She stared at him, growing a little puzzled at his response. After a moment, she said, "thank you Neelix." 

He nodded with a smile, “yes, Captain and goodnight." He turned walking away from her. 

She stood there for a moment, and then turned keying in the door code. They slid open and she entered, "computer, lights." They rose up as she walked over to her dining table taking out the old flowers and put in the single rose instead. Her eyes widened in amazement as she watched the rose open before her eyes and grow a deeper red. It took her a moment to pull away from its beauty, she sighed walking away unzipping her uniform coat putting it over a spare chair. She then proceeded to get dinner ready since Chakotay was due within a half-hour. 

=/\=

She was just finishing up, the table was set, when her door chime rang. "Come," she said, and the doors slid open, he entered.

Chakotay smiled watching her by the replicator, he walked in, "smells good. What is it?" 

"Vegetable ravioli," she replied, "with white cream sauce, salad and coffee." 

"Well, I'm hungry," he said. 

"Sit down," she told him and he took his usual place on the opposite side of the table. She put down their plates of food while he ate his salad. She sighed and sat down opposite him, "any reports?"

He nodded sliding a padd her way, "crew updates. Nothing really else to report." He saw the flower, "that the same one from this morning?" 

She shook her head, "no, Neelix gave me another one on the way down from the bridge." She sighed, "I'm worried something is starting here that I'm going to have to discipline." 

He stared at her, her expression was concern. He sighed, "Kathryn relax. This'll all reveal itself in two weeks, it's not worth losing sleep over."

She nodded, “I know," and started on her salad. After a few minutes, she sighed, "it just makes me uncomfortable that's all." 

He didn't know what else to say to her, so he just continued eating and they finished with the reviews and dinner before calling it a night. 

The next morning both of them sat on the bridge. She sat reading over status reports, while he worked out new ones on the command display console. Neelix still hadn't shown up with that days flower delivery and breakfast had ended almost an hour earlier. 

About 0930, Chakotay excused himself to work in his office so he could work on the upcoming shift rotations for the next month. The ship was encountering no problems or unexpected anomalies or hostile aliens, which she found kind of unusual for the first time, but always kept herself alert. She knew if she relaxed too much, something would always come up to ruin the moment. 

A half-hour later, Neelix appeared on the bridge with a bouquet. He began handing them out, she sat reading one of the engineering plasma reports when he stepped up to her, "here you go, Captain." 

She looked up to see two new roses. "More?" she asked suspicious. Tom sat at his station trying to ignore her reaction, but he couldn't mistaken her suspicious tone. He smirked when she finally said, "thank you Neelix," and he walked away. After a moment she stood up, "I have an announcement," and everyone turned to her. "If any of you are sending me these flowers, the thought is appreciated, but please stop. Ensign?" She indicated to the one at engineering, "put these in the vase in my ready room, please." 

He walked over to her taking them, “yes, ma’am," and walked into her ready room, then returned to his station a moment later. 

She sat back down with a sigh and leaned towards the command display console to finish with the reports. More departments reported in, enough so when Chakotay returned around 01100, she was able to go to her ready room to work on them. 

=/\=

"Janeway to the bridge," voiced the comm by his chair. 

"Yes, Captain?" Chakotay replied who was going over a fuel consumption report. 

"I'm going to lunch," she said. 

He lifted his head, "lunch?" 

"Yes, Commander," she replied. "It's 1230 hours, any objections?" 

"Ah -no, Captain," he said, he sensed she wasn't in the mood for company. 

"Very well," she said, "I'll be in the mess hall, Captain out," and the link was cut. 

=/\=

When she arrived in the mess hall, it was busy with various crewmembers, many of them were carrying roses. She spotted B'Elanna and Tom over at a far table, talking quietly and some roses in the center. She smiled softly at the ship's recent newlyweds and glanced around. She felt the happiness in the air and the color of the roses seemed to brighten the beige and gray interior. 

She walked up to Neelix's counter, he was busy stirring something at one of his large wok-like bowls when he saw her. "Captain! Goodafternoon." 

"Neelix," she said politely. "What's for lunch?" 

"I have some gabarsoti stew," he replied, "or flambé noodles. For desert, terra nut soufflé." 

"What's the special occasion," she asked interested, "for terra nut soufflé? You only make that to celebrate." 

He smiled at her, “isn't love worth celebrating?" 

She moaned, "I've turned you into a cupid Neelix." 

"'Cupid'?" he repeated, unsure of the word. 

She shook her head, not wanting to explain, "never mind Neelix, look it up when you have the chance." She paused in thought, "I'll have some gabarsoti stew, and make sure it's hot." 

He nodded, "yes, ma'am," he smiled walking over to the large pot and ladled some into a glass bowl for her. "Here you go," handing it to her with a dinner napkin and spoon. "I'll bring your coffee to you." She nodded, turned and walked over to a nearby table sitting down. In those few minutes, Neelix had accessed his quick reference padd he had nearby on Valentine's Day and accessed, cupid. He quickly poured her cup and walked over placing it in front of her. "May I?" 

“Of course,” she replied and he sat down opposite her. She studied him, "tired?"

He sighed, "a little but not too bad. I enjoy the work and it's so wonderful to see a crewmember's face when they get a flower," he chuckled. "It's just sheer…joy!"

She smiled, "well, I'm happy to hear that," and continued with her soup. 

He studied her for a moment, then said, "oh, by the way, cupid? I like that comparison," she frowned at him. "Really Captain, I do. I mean, I'm already the ship's ambassador, morale officer, but what about cupid? If only once a year?" 

She smirked, "and the roses?" 

"Oh, I can easily," he replied, "cultivate enough for next year." 

She sighed, "I'll think about it -" 

Her commbadge beeped, "bridge to Captain Janeway," said Chakotay. 

“Go ahead, Commander," she replied. "What is it?" 

"We're being hailed by," he told her, "an oncoming vessel-" 

"-Hostile?" 

"Not yet," he said. 

She dabbed the corners of her mouth with the napkin and stood up, "on my way'" She looked at Neelix, "that was delicious Neelix, save me some soufflé."

He nodded, “of course,” and watched her walk out. 

=/\=

When she arrived on the bridge, Chakotay was standing in the center of the command level waiting for her. The viewscreen was on showing a small, apparently male humanoid alien with ridges from his lobes to his shoulders, with arched eyebrows, neutral skin tones and short black hair.

"Captain this is Garel B'nair," Chakotay told her, "of the B'nair. He is requesting supplies." 

She stood just beside him, not her usual distance, but actually a half step away from him, and that disturbed him. "Nice to meet you Mr. ....?" she prompted. 

"You may call me Garel," he said. 

She smiled with a nod, "very well, Mr. Garel. We will beam you aboard to see what we can do for you. Standby," she turned to Harry. "Harry, have you got him?" 

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. 

She nodded, “beam him into Transporter Room Two. Commanders, if you will," she said to Chakotay and Tuvok as she headed up to the lift and they followed her in. 

When they arrived in the transporter room, she nodded to the technician who began the transport process. Once Garel's form solidified on the platform, she smiled up at him, "welcome aboard Voyager Mr. Garel, I'm Captain Janeway and this is my first officer, Commander Chakotay and my chief tactical and security officer, Commander Tuvok." 

Garel gazed around the room, "big ship you have Captain," he stepped down. "I can't wait to see it." 

“Well, Commander Chakotay," she told him, "will be assisting you and I'm sure he'd be happy to give you a brief tour." 

"Of course," he said with a nod. 

"If you'll excuse me gentlemen," she said with a nod and walked out with Tuvok. 

Chakotay stared after her for a moment, and then returned his attention back to Garel. "Let's take that tour and you could tell me what you need," he held out his hand to the doors and Garel walked out with him following right beside him. 

When she returned to the bridge, Tom turned to her, "Neelix was here to see you Captain," he told her. 

She nodded and turned to her seat finding another rose on it. She sighed picking it up gazing around suspicious, but said nothing. She looked over at Harry who had some flowers as well, he briefly glanced up at her, and she couldn't mistaken the color rising in his face in receiving them. That caused her a small smile, she shrugged and sat down. She began to think seriously at who could be sending her the flowers. 

After several minutes she decided to put the thought aside. She put the rose aside and activated the command display console. 

Shortly later, Chakotay and Garel arrived on the bridge. "This is Voyager's command center," he said and she looked over and immediately stood up with a smile. 

"A most impressive ship," he said stepping up to the command platform with Chakotay. 

"Well, it's convenient," she replied. "We have a long journey home still." 

“Yes, your commander has mentioned," he said, “your destination is in the Alpha Quadrant. I have at least another ten years, but not in your direction." 

"Has Commander Chakotay filled your requests?" 

"Right here for your approval," he told her handing her a padd. 

She took it looking at it, she sighed after a moment, "everything looks okay." She glanced up at Chakotay, "have you talked with B'Elanna about some warp plasma we can spare?" 

He nodded, "B'Elanna can spare two grams of plasma. She'll have it ready soon as you approve." 

She shrugged, "fine and everything else here checks out. Has that been taken care of?" 

"Within the next twenty minutes," he told her, noticing how distant she was being with him. 

She nodded, "very well, take care of it commander. Let me know when everything is ready." 

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a nod. "If you will Garel," and they headed off the bridge. As he followed Garel into the lift, he glanced over his shoulder at her, she stood, her gaze caught his and she looked away sitting down. He shook his head and entered the lift. 

Twenty minutes later her comm unit beeped, "Chakotay to bridge." 

"Janeway here," she replied.

“Garel has been supplied," he told her, "and is ready to return to his ship. We're in Transporter Room Two." 

“I'm on my way," she said standing up and headed out. "Tuvok you have the comm," she walked into the lift. 

=/\=

After they beamed Garel back to his ship, they headed back to the bridge, both were quiet. He wanted to talk to her, but didn't know what to say. 

"Have you gotten any flowers?" she asked him curiously. 

“No," he replied simply and hoped this was her way of finally opening up to him again.

"How many have you gotten?"

"Five," she replied. 

He smirked as they neared a lift, "well, that's a good sign I would think. I wouldn't be surprised if you received 150 by the end-" 

That's when she became more suspicious, thankfully they were right by the lift alcove, because she grabbed his elbow pulling him aside in the alcove. "Alright, that's it Chakotay. Who's sending me the flowers?"

He stared at her, her blue eyes were deeper and more intense. He pulled away from her, “I have no idea Kathryn -" she groaned looking away, "but whoever is doing it is making you nervous and you shouldn't be." She folded her arms across her chest staring at him, "all I'm saying is...your cared for deeply by this crew," he saw her eyes grow moist, she blinked back the tears. "What if they're all sent in gratitude or admiration by everyone on board?”

She didn't respond for a moment, then she stepped forward signaling for the lift. The doors slid open, they stepped in, "bridge,” she said and it rose. She sighed, “I find it hard to believe everyone is thankful for me stranding them here in the Delta Quadrant. I can feel and see their respect, but thankful?" She shook her head, "I'm not buying it." 

He watched her pacing, unsure of what to respond with. After a moment he sighed, "perhaps your right about the thankful part," she stopped gazing up at him. He continued, "but, I know the crew doesn't blame you anymore Kathryn. They know the choice you had to make, stop beating yourself up over it."

She bit her lip staring at him, the lift slowed and she sighed, "I swear you know me too well Chakotay," the lift stopped and the doors slid open. 

He smiled gently at her, “I've had seven years to figure you out," and she smirked walking out, and he grinned following her. 

=/\=

Later on that evening Kathryn sat on her sofa in the ready room going over a report and drinking some coffee. Her door chime rang, "come," she said and her doors slid open. Chakotay entered, "yes, commander?" 

He stepped up to her, "we've been in Gamma shift for close to two hours now. Are you having dinner?" 

She shrugged glancing up at him, "I don't know. Has Neelix been around with more flowers?" 

He shook his head, “I haven't seen him yet," he sat beside her at a safe distance. “What are you reading?" 

She put it down looking at him with a sigh, "an engineering plasma report, to update since Garel's visit. Nothing exciting.” 

He smiled a little with a nod, "well, if that's the case then, join me for dinner? And perhaps a sail on Lake George would relax you.” 

She stared at him for a moment, still seeing the love and concern in his dark eyes. He'd been trying so hard to put their relationship on the right track again and she knew she'd been pushing him away again. Perhaps it was time to call it a truce, so they could be like they once were, close personal friends. "Perhaps a sail does sound wonderful," he smiled gently at her. “I think it'd do me wonder's." 

"Let's go," he told her standing up holding out his hand. She put down the padd and gasped it, he pulled her easily to her feet. They stared at each other, he bent his arm and put her hand on his elbow, putting his hand over it. His heart soared, she was trying again, and that’s all that mattered. They walked out. 

=/\=

After dinner together in the mess hall, which was still somewhat tense from her end, they split up to their respective quarters to change and meet on holodeck two for the sail within the next half-hour. 

Kathryn returned to her quarters and stood in front of her closet trying to determine what to wear. Her eyes caught a blue short sleeve and she reached over pulling out a simple blue dress. She realized it was the one she had worn while on New Earth and had only worn seldom afterwards. 

She thought for a moment, and then decided to put it on, perhaps it was appropriate. She removed her uniform and boots, pulled the light, cotton dress over head, adjusting it around her. She fixed her hair slipped into some white shoes and walked over to her floor length mirror located between her bathroom and closet. She stared at her image, she saw a once younger and thinner woman looking back at her. She groaned, she had aged somewhat since being in the DQ and her once trim form had filled out somewhat, but the dress still fit perhaps that was a good sign. 

She rechecked her makeup and added a touch of lipstick and left to meet Chakotay. Along the way, Neelix spotted her, he was carrying more flowers. 

"Captain!" he said walking up to her. 

She slowed closing her eyes with a moan, "two minutes and I would have had a clean getaway." She sighed and turned to him trying to look pleasant, “yes, Neelix?" 

He walked up to her, "these are for you," and handed her three more flowers. 

"Thank you," she said gazing at them. 

He smiled with a nod noticing her off duty clothing. "You look very nice Captain, something special-?" 

She shook her head, "-no. I'm just going to the holodeck to relax for awhile." 

"Have a wonderful time,” he said. "Well, if you'll excuse me, but I have more flowers to give out," and he walked away. 

She turned and continued down to the turbo-lift and entered, "holodeck," she said and the lift sank. 

=/\=

When she arrived outside holodeck two, she saw the program was already running. Chakotay was inside making preparations for their sail. She glanced at the flowers, sighed and entered, the doors slid closed behind her. Before her was the dock that took her out to the boat at the end. The night was calm, the breeze warm and the sky was full of stars. She saw the sails ready and the beacon light glowing mid-way up. 

Move, she told herself and took a breath walking down the wooden deck. As she neared, she saw him preparing the rigging to the smaller sail. She finally said, "it's a nice night." 

He glanced over at her and smiled noticing the blue dress she wore and remembered it well. "It's a beautiful night," he saw her flowers. "Looks like your admirer hasn't given up yet." 

She sighed with a smirk, "apparently not." He was wearing a pair of loose tan trousers and thin beige cotton shirt, which she found earthy about him and quite attractive. “So are we ready to go?" 

"Whenever you are," he replied turning to her. He saw her nod and he walked over and held out his hand to her. She took it and he assisted her into the boat. Their eyes met and he had all he could not to do but touch her face and kiss her. He pulled his gaze away as she broke the contact by taking her hand away from his. "Computer, remove dock," and the dock disappeared. A gust of wind picked up catching the sail and she moved away, walked over to a cushioned bench on the portside and sat down. He walked over to the wheel and stood behind it beginning to steer the boat. 

They were quiet for several minutes, she stared out letting the breeze blow in her face, and she sighed closing her eyes. He watched her for a moment, water is calm tonight, just what you need." 

She looked at him, "do I? Why do you say that?" 

He shrugged, "well, considering these past couple of months and the events that have involved the ship and crew, you were looking a little stressed."

She shrugged, "how can performing Tom and B'Elanna's wedding be stressful? B'Elanna looked beautiful -" 

"-She did," he agreed with her, "but you know that's not what I'm talking about." 

That's when he put the boat on autopilot and stepped over to her and sat beside her. She first looked away from him, "Kathryn," he said softly, "I'm so sorry for the mutiny, what Tiro made me and the rest of us do. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.” 

Kathryn raised her eyes to his, she whispered, "you had no control over what Tiro made you do." She sighed, fighting the tears that seemed to have welled up in her eyes, happy they were finally discussing this matter. She kept her voice firm, "I was angry at you for a short while afterwards, but I know it was beyond your control for what happened." 

"I know that," he replied gently, "I could tell how you began distancing yourself from me. I know I had to do something before we grew too far apart. So I did this, and I'm happy you came." He paused, "Kathryn I need you to forgive me -" 

"-I have," she told him, the tears threatened to fall. She bit her lip, "in my mind Chakotay -" 

"-Kathryn," he said gently taking her hand in his. "I need to hear it." 

She stared at him, his hands were soft and gentle, but possessed such strength. She then placed her other hand over his, "Chakotay...I was a little hurt that you took part in the mutiny, not just the mutiny. I trusted you with everything for so long," a tear managed to slide down her face. "It's going...to take time for me to...give you that trust again." 

"I understand that," he said with a nod. "But I need for you to really forgive me," another tear slide down her face. "I promise I won't let it happen again." He gently reached out stroking away her tears. 

She stared at him, the moonlight cast a shadow against his face. Then she nodded, and reached up touching his shoulder, a familiar gesture. He took her hand and kissed it gently, she wanted to pull away, but he held it in a gentle grip. He leaned forward and she closed her eyes as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead. She found herself leaning into him and his arm encircled her waist pulling her closer. 

She sighed as he began kissing her face, she reached up pulling him to her. He kissed her throat and she tilted back her head with a moan. He was so tender with her, so loving, she wanted this for so long. He kissed up her throat, her jawline and then her gently. 

Kathryn groaned feeling his mouth on hers and responded sliding her arms around his neck pulling him closer. He wrapped his around her as he tasted her and the sweetness she held within her. He felt his heart race and kissed her deeper, drawing her tighter against him. 

She felt his arms around her and they felt so good. She hadn't been held for so long, she missed this. But he was her first officer and her best friend, the problem was his rank. She began to pull away, placing her hands on his chest, “we...can't Chakotay." 

He wouldn't let her pull away, he wrapped his arms tighter around her as they gazed deeply into each other's eyes. "Kathryn you've been as lonely as I've been, I know that. And I've maintained that barrier you set up since New Earth. I'm just starting to wonder how much longer I can hold back my feelings for such a beautiful woman." 

Kathryn's heart melted, she stroked his collar gently, "Chakotay this goes against everything I've been trained for. This wouldn't be an issue in the Alpha Quadrant -" 

"-That's the point Kathryn," he told her gently. “We’re not in the Alpha Quadrant, but the Delta. I understand your hesitation due to maintaining Starfleet protocol, but should you really keep yourself from having a relationship? We're both captains, but due to the circumstances, I'm technically your first officer." 

She smiled softly and traced his jaw line gently, "I understand the point you're trying to make, but it's so difficult for me to take that kind of role after so many years -"

"-Just don't be my captain when we're alone," he said. "Remember all those times before when you were Kathryn with me? Be Kathryn again and let me in."

More tears welled up and slid down her face, he gently wiped them away. "Oh Chakotay I wish it were going to be that easy. I need time to think and adjust to the idea of it all." 

"I know," he said and she rested her head against his shoulder, he stroked her hair and neck gently. After several minutes, he said, "how about some wine? And would you like to take the wheel?" 

She laughed softly stroking his shoulder and gazed at him, "sounds good." He smiled and kissed her softly again, she barely responded and he let her go, she stood up moving over to the wheel, taking the boat off autopilot. He stood up, walked over to the small cooler and pulled out a bottle of wine and some glasses. He opened it and poured them each one, he handed over hers. She took it while expertly steering with one hand, "thank you," and he nodded with a smile sitting down. 

They spent the next couple of hours with her at the wheel and he just sat gazing at her as she steered the boat. He wondered if they would ever have a boat like this when they returned to the Alpha Quadrant. Lake George would be a beautiful place for them to make a home and raise a family...

“What are you thinking?" she asked interrupting his thoughts. 

He gazed at her, “just...future possibilities." 

She raised her eyes at him with a smirk, “well, there's nothing wrong with that," and glanced at him sideways, somewhat seductive. 

He grinned at her, she could be so alluring when this way, that's why he loved her so much. He sighed, “just steer the boat Kathryn." 

She laughed out loud, knowing he understood the look she gave him. "Aye, aye sir!" 

When their time was up, he walked her back to her quarters, on the way to his. She carried the flowers, but this time they walked arm in arm comfortably for the first time in weeks. 

They stopped outside her door, she turned to him while gazing up at him. "Well...goodnight," he said. 

She smiled, "goodnight Chakotay, the evening was wonderful." 

He nodded, “yes, it was," he quickly glanced around, the corridors were clear. So he leaned over and placed a light kiss on her mouth, she closed her eyes and then he pulled away. "Goodnight Kathryn," and he walked away. She stood there watching him retreat, and then she turned and entered her quarters, put the flowers in the vase and retired.   
When she went to breakfast before duty the next morning, Neelix made her an omelet the way she enjoyed them and gave her some coffee. She sat over in the corner alone and observing her crew. Neelix watched her while still serving. When he had the chance, he pulled out two more roses and from the large vase on the corner counter for crewmembers he knew would be receiving them during the meal shifts. 

He walked over to her, "Captain these are for you," and laid them before her. 

She smirked staring at him, "I'm not surprised anymore Neelix, but thank you." 

He sat down across from her, "Captain I'd like you to know you're quite popular." She stared at him while drinking her coffee, "you're running neck-in-neck with Lieutenant Jenny Delaney."

"I didn't realize," she said. "You know Neelix, I know I should be flattered for getting all these flowers, but it's difficult to accept." 

“Neelix!" someone called from the galley. "We're hungry!" 

"Don't worry about it Captain," he said and smiled, he stood up heading back to the galley. 

=/\=

When she came onto the bridge after lunch for Gamma shift, she found her entire bridge crew present. "Good afternoon everyone." 

"Good afternoon Captain," said Tuvok as she stepped down and up to the command level. 

“Neelix was here," Chakotay told her and smiled at her indicating to her seat, which four more roses lay. 

She picked them up and sat down, "report?" 

"Everything is running at peak efficiency," he replied and reached over handing her a padd. "Ship's status report.” She took it, and looked for a place to put the flowers. "Would you like me to put those in your ready room?" 

She shrugged while reading, "if you don't mind?" 

“I don't," he said, she glanced at him, he smiled taking them from her, stood up and walked out. 

She tried not to watch him, but did with her peripheral vision. Once he entered the ready room, she looked back at the padd to continue reading. 

=/\=

Later on that afternoon she sat in her ready room reading up on Valentine's Day herself. Her curiosity getting the best of her, since she only knew little of it and what Neelix mentioned. 

Her door chime rang, "come," she said gazing up and Neelix entered carrying some flowers. She sighed sitting back, "let me guess, I have another delivery?" 

"You guessed right," he said, "shall I put them in your vase?" He indicated to the one on the corner of her desk that was slowly filling up. 

"Please," she said, he took four and began adding them. "Four?" 

He nodded, "yes, ma'am," and they watched the new roses open up. "They're quite beautiful, aren't they?" 

She nodded, "yes, they are."

"They can be mesmerizing," he said, "and your vase is looking quite full. I think you’re going to need another one," she smiled softly at him. "Well, if you'll excuse me Captain," he turned walking out as Chakotay was about to ring for entry. “Commander," and walked by him. 

Chakotay entered carrying a padd, "more flowers?" She glanced over at him and nodded, he walked up to her desk. "They're looking quite full." 

Kathryn sat looking at him, she felt her heart begin to race when he neared the desk and she felt her face start to flush. For some reason she could feel his presence more at that moment. She felt as if she couldn't breathe, she wondered if he could tell how flushed she looked. 

"Is there anything wrong?" he asked her concerned as she began to stand. 

"Wrong?" she repeated trying to calm, he seemed more attractive to her than usual at this moment. She glanced at him, "no nothing. I need a coffee," she managed to walk around the desk, past him and up to the replicator. “Would you like one?" 

He shook his head, "no thank you." 

She nodded, "computer, coffee please," and a cup appeared on the base. She took it, blew on it and took a sip. Her heart rate slowed since her proximity to the flowers and him were distant. "What do you know about Valentine's Day Chakotay?" 

He sighed, "not much I'm afraid. That particular holiday wasn't observed on my planet or within my tribe. I found out about it when I first went to the academy." 

"Well, you obviously know," she said, “it's a holiday centered on romance?" He nodded, "did you know that roses also represent women in their full sexual maturity?" 

"Neelix mentioned something," he replied and glanced down. 

Did he just blush? She thought staring at him in shock. She tried not to notice, but realized this was the first time she saw him like this.

He then looked at her with a shrug, "do you think he just wants to pair people off?" 

"Maybe," she said with a shrug. They stared at each other, and then she added softly, "the sail was wonderful last night." 

He nodded, "yes it was and you looked lovely in the moonlight." 

She felt the color rise in her face, she smiled a little, "thank you." She paused getting her thoughts in order. She needed to be alone, "is there anything else?"

He noticed her mood change, and then got the idea. He shook his head, "no. Excuse me Captain," turned and left. 

She stood there quietly trying to decide what to do next. Her gaze caught the flowers and she had an idea. She stepped down to her desk, walked around and picked up her tricorder. She walked over to the vase and began scanning the flowers. 

Her scans indicated that the flowers produced an unknown element. She couldn't identify, but it somehow triggered the hormones of the nearest person to them, since she noticed her own hormone level rose significantly, especially with the slightest thought of Chakotay. That's when it occurred to her why she got so flustered with him and the roses in close proximity. 

She decided it wasn't important enough to let everyone else know about this because it appeared it was a natural reaction. She also determined so they wouldn't fluster her again, that they'd be better further away. She picked up the vase and walked over and up to her coffee table, putting the vase there. 

=/\=

Kathryn spent the rest of Gamma shift and part of Beta on the bridge. Harry was due to cover Beta shortly, so she let Chakotay go for the evening. She was sitting in her chair reading a fuel consumption report when Harry finally arrived. 

She stood up, “have a good rest Harry? I know split-shifts can be tiring." 

He nodded, “yes, ma'am. I'm alright, I'm kinda used to it by now." 

“Tell me," she asked, "did you receive a lot of flowers yet?" 

He sighed, “four so far, Captain. I'm surprised actually, I can't figure out who's sending them." 

She smiled at him, "Harry don't be surprised. You're a good catch." 

He blushed, "thank you Captain." 

"I'll be in my quarters," she told him. "In case anything comes up." 

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, "goodnight." 

"Goodnight," she said and left the bridge. 

=/\=

When she arrived in her quarters, she realized she were a little hungry and tired. She unzipped her uniform jacket and had it off when her door chime rang. She was curious who'd be calling at this late hour. 

"Come," she said and her doors slid open revealing Neelix. He stepped inside, "Neelix, is there anything wrong?" 

"No, Captain," he replied. "I'm sorry to bother you so late, you must be tired and all." 

"It's okay," she said, “the crew knows my doors are open anytime." 

"Anytime?" he repeated. 

She smirked, "well, within reasonable hours. What can I do for you?" 

“Nothing," he replied, "but I do have these for you," and held out two more flowers to her. "The request came in at the last minute. I thought about holding on to them for the morning, but the commander told me at dinner you were on the bridge for part of Beta shift, so I...took a chance to catch you." 

She shrugged taking the flowers, "that's okay, Neelix." She turned and walked over to the vase of roses on her table and put them in. She watched them bloom, but realized she didn't feel her heart race or anything with him in the room. She sighed, “Neelix are you aware of the flower's hormone element?" 

"I don't understand, Captain?" 

She sighed and turned to him, "apparently the flowers affect the recipient’s hormones when given." 

"Do they?" he asked. 

She nodded, "what did the botanist tell you about them?" 

He shrugged, “just that they bloom when given in pure love." 

"Did he mention that the recipients," she asked, "hormones would be affected if the sender was also in the room?" 

“No, he didn't," Neelix replied. "Why?” 

She shook her head, "never mind, it was just a thought." She paused for a moment, "if that's all?" 

He nodded, “yes, Captain. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight," she said and he left. She stood for a moment, and then heard her stomach growl a little. She sighed walking over to the replicator. "Computer, one bowl of vegetable and pasta soup," a glass bowl shimmered onto the base. She took it and a spoon walking over to her armchair and sank down into it. She put her feet up on the sofa in front of the viewports and watched the stars skim by as she ate. 

During this time her thoughts were on her and Chakotay's sail. She knew he cared deeply for her, but she wondered how deep. The years after New Earth they grew closer, but after the Equinox incident, she took a step back from him emotionally and physically. They were still friends and colleagues, but something had begun to change after that. Now he was trying to mend the rift between them, she knew that when he sat by her bedside each night for almost a week after her return from the Borg cube while she recovered from her assimilation in sickbay. 

Then the Tiro incident happened, shattering their fragile bridge. She sighed putting her head back on the cushion. He wanted more from her, soon as she was able to trust him again. She was, a little at a time, but it was this relationship she was hinting at, more than a friendship, but less than a marriage. 

She didn't know what to do, since she'd been out of a romantic relationship for so long. The idea of having a new one intrigued her, especially with a man like Chakotay whose strength in spirit, mind and body permeated his very existence. And, he wasn't half bad looking either...wait, who was she kidding? He was the most attractive, handsome and sexiest man she'd ever met. 

And who was sending her those damn flowers? 

She gave up shortly later trying to figure it all out, since it was close to 0200 hours and Harry obviously had things under control. She stood up, put the soup bowl back into the replicator and went to bed. 

Later the next morning Chakotay sat in his office answering personal requests from crewmembers that dealt with switching various shifts and wanting a meeting with him about something that concerned them. 

Kathryn was on the bridge now tending to other matters, but knew where to find him if he was needed. He took a moment while reading a padd to let his mind drift back to how she felt in his arms, her mouth responding to his. He closed his eyes as he absorbed the scent of her, the taste... 

His door chime rang and he didn't answer. It rang again, that brought him back to reality. He sat forward, "come," and the doors slid open revealing B'Elanna, who walked in. "What can I do for you B'Elanna?" She stood there for a moment studying him, he stared back at her. "B'Elanna?" 

She casually walked over to her longtime friend and superior. "Chakotay, I was curious if you knew how many flowers the Captain has received?" 

He shrugged, "no, not really. I just know she's getting several each day. Why?" 

She sat down on his small sofa alongside the small viewport and leaned forward cupping her chin in her hands. "My sources tell me she's got a total of twenty so far. Neelix hasn't made his afternoon rounds yet." She then asked, "Chakotay, how long have we been friends?" 

"For several years," he replied. "B'Elanna what are you trying to say?" 

She sighed, "okay. Are you sending Janeway the roses?" 

"Me?" he asked. 

She nodded, "yes, you." 

"No," he said, and B'Elanna studied him. He felt himself getting uncomfortable under her scrutiny. He so badly wanted to move, but sat frozen in his chair. He sighed, "listen B'Elanna I thought about sending her some, but we're just friends. Where would it get me?" 

"Ah-huh," she said, she stood up and walked over to him. "I know you better than you think Chakotay, but I won't push the subject." 

He smiled at her, "B'Elanna I know what you're hinting at. But thanks, I'll keep it all in mind." She smirked folding her arms across her chest, "have you gotten any flowers?"

"Of course," she said, "but Tom is sending them to me. He told me he wants me to have a full dozen by Valentine's Day."

“That's a nice romantic thought," he said. 

"Yes, it is," she replied with a nod. She also realized she wasn't going to get anything out of him. She sighed, "well, I'd better be getting back to engineering." He nodded and she stood up and left. 

He smiled after her, and then turned his attention back to the crew requests. He was due on the bridge after lunch. 

=/\=

Once he was finished with all his paperwork, he realized he was due on the bridge. He was walking down the corridor towards the bridge lift when he spotted Kathryn ahead. Apparently she had just come from lunch, but she was further ahead, he picked up his pace when she reached the lift and entered. 

"Hold!" he said, she quickly reached out putting her hand over the doors to prevent them from closing. Kathryn looked down the corridor to see who was calling and saw Chakotay nearing. He quickly stepped in beside her, "commander," she said, letting the doors close behind him. 

"Captain," he said and noticed she carried four more roses. "Bridge," he told the computer and the lift rose. He sighed, "more flowers?" 

She nodded, "yes, Neelix gave me these at lunch." 

“How many have you got so far?" 

"Twenty-four," she replied. 

He chuckled, "that's a lot of flowers," she glared at him, the lift slowed and came to a halt. 

They walked out, "I'll be in my ready room," she said walking down the steps and around Tuvok's station. He stepped up to the command level and sat in his seat, opening the command display console. 

Once inside her ready room, Kathryn walked up to the vase and added the roses to it. She watched them bloom, shook her head and stepped back down to her desk, walked around and sat down. She activated her desk computer and saw a message waiting. She tapped the line and read, "Only Nine Days Left -Your Secret Admirer." 

Kathryn raised her eyebrow in curiosity, now realizing they weren't being sent by various crewmembers, but one. She tried accessing where the message originated, but the sender's location wasn't given. She figured it was a smart move on their part, since she had the complete authority to override any encrypted codes. 

She groaned now frustrated, whoever was sending them were covering their tracks well and realized she'd have to wait until Valentine's Day to find out. 

=/\=

Later on during the shift, both sat on the bridge going over the department reports. It was almost 2100 hours, both were tired, but she didn't feel like just going to her quarters and reading a book. She wanted to exert some energy for some reason. 

She leaned over to him, "Chakotay?" He glanced over at her, "do you have any plans once the shift is over?" 

He shrugged, "not really. Why?" 

"Would you like to join me," she asked, "for a few rounds of velocity?" 

He smiled at her softly, "I could use the exercise." 

"Don't we all?" she said smiling. “2130, in holodeck two.” 

"See you then," he said. She gazed back down at her padd knowing he was still watching her. She glanced at him sideways with a small smile and he diverted his attention back to the command display console. 

Once the shift was over, she gave her orders to Harry, told where both she and Chakotay would be, and then they left. They parted at the corridor near their quarters to change and would meet on the holodeck. 

Kathryn entered her quarters taking off her uniform jacket. She walked into her bedroom and sat on the bed pulling off her boots, then stood up taking off the trousers, turtleneck and tankshirt. She walked over to her dresser and opened a drawer pulling out a pair of black leggings, socks and tee-shirt. She pulled the tee-shirt over her head while walking into the bathroom and over to the sink turning it on and washed the make-up off her face. After that, she picked up a hair clip and wound the loose locks up in back of her head and clipped it. 

Once done there, she walked out to the small open space in her bedroom and began to stretch, warming up her muscles. She planned to make him work out, she wasn't going to play nice just because she was the captain. 

Soon as she was sufficiently warmed up, she walked over to her closet and pulled on her black, rubber soled sneakers, fastened them and reached up onto the shelf taking down her velocity phaser. 

She was about to leave, when she remembered she needed a towel. She walked back into the bathroom picking up a small towel and headed out. 

=/\=

Several rounds later, she was ahead, 5-4. Chakotay was keeping up with her, since both hadn't played velocity together in a couple of years. The discus came her way and she fired the phaser sending it back to him, he fired, but missed and it tagged him on the shoulder. 

The computer said, "full impact, winner Janeway." 

He stopped wiping his brow gazing over at her as she tried catching her breath. She pushed some hair out of her eyes, "are you letting me win?" 

"No -" he told her, she walked over picking up her towel and patted herself dry. "I heard you've become quite a formidable opponent in velocity." 

She sighed, "well, you've got to thank Seven for that. She hates to loose," she dropped the towel and picked up her phaser. "Ready for the next round?" 

“When ever you are," he said, now relaxed.

She nodded and walked over to the center, "computer, new game. Begin," and the discus appeared sailing before her. 

Chakotay managed to win the next game, but barely. She missed the timing of the discus and it tagged her in the thigh. He took his phaser and imitated a smoking gun by blowing on the tip, she smirked at him. 

She was determined to win the next round, which she did by playing more aggressively. She shot the discus his way, he managed to deflect it, sending it back to her. She saw it coming low and she rolled along the floor shooting it upwards and it sailed toward him, tagging him in the chest. 

He stumbled a bit, but managed to catch himself before he fell. She laughed still laying on the floor while on her stomach, "Chakotay watch where you’re going!" 

He smiled, “you caught me off guard! Where'd you learn that move?" 

She sighed sitting up, he walked over and held out his hand, she grabbed it and he pulled her to her feet. “My secret," she replied staring up at him.

"Fine," he said, "but anymore hidden moves I should know about?" 

She shrugged, "if I do have any, do you really think I'd tell you?"

"Just trying," he replied. 

She smiled, "don't bother." She stepped away, "computer, next game." 

During the next game, it seemed to be going on forever. She saw the discus bounce off a far corner and sail her way. She quickly backed up to get her shot, but misjudged her distance to the holo-grid and her footing caught as the discus knocked her off her balance. She stumbled falling, hitting her head on one of the grids. 

Chakotay saw Kathryn hit her head, she cried out sinking to the floor. His heart skipped a beat, "Kathryn!" He ran over to her, "computer, stop game." He dropped his phaser and knelt beside her seeing if she was conscious. She groaned touching her head, "stay still Kathryn. Where does it hurt?" 

Kathryn lay half-propped against the grid, she peered up at him. "My head...the back -" 

"-Let me see," he said gently and helped her slowly sit up. He gently checked and sighed, "you've got a lump forming Kathryn. The Doctor should take a look at it, it could be a minor concussion." 

She felt a little dizzy, she held up her hand, "okay, but let me just sit here for a few minutes." 

He nodded, "fine, but let me get you some water," he stood up and walked over to the corner by the doors and picked up a small water bottle. He walked back over to her kneeling beside her and handed it too her. She took it and he sat beside her letting his skin cool off. 

Kathryn sat there sipping the water as her head cleared. She stared at him noticing how distinguished he had become over the years, definitely more handsome. 

He noticed her stare, "what are you staring at?" 

She shrugged, “just...nothing. I'm just thinking of how much we've changed over the years, seven long years."

He sighed with a shrug, "yeah, I suppose we have. I've gotten a little more seasoned since we first met." 

She nodded a little, too much hurt. "But, these years have been good to you Chakotay." 

He stared at her now, “they've been good to you as well." 

She snorted with a laugh, "oh sure, a few more lines here, a little weight there, some crows feet here! But, thank you anyway." She sighed and muttered, "sometimes I feel much older than I am." 

He smiled gently at her, "I think you look as beautiful as the day I first met you Kathryn." 

She sat speechless at him, he gazed her with such admiration, concern and possibly love? She found her voice, "thank you." 

He slid closer to her and pushed a lock of hair out of her face gently, "how are you feeling now?" 

"Well, I've got a headache," she replied as his finger stroked her jaw line. She tried not to let his touch get to her, but it sent threads of desire through her to each of her nerve endings. She wanted to pull away, but didn't for some reason. "Perhaps...I should get to...sickbay," she pulled her gaze away from his to try and break the contact. She sighed focusing on her injury, she reached up taking his hand, stopping him, "Chakotay -" she whispered. 

He turned her to him, she lifted her eyes to his, "Kathryn," he said softly, their gaze locked, she sat frozen. "You’re so incredibly beautiful, I wish you could see that," he leaned over to kiss her. 

Kathryn sat there ready to let him, ready to just go with what she was feeling and then her command mode shifted into gear, she pulled away from him, "we can't-do this," she began to stand, using the grid for support, but it didn't seem to help. Her head spun and she lost her balance and fell down onto him. 

Chakotay caught her gently, she gripped his forearms as he held her. She blinked focusing on him, their gaze still deep. He finished what he started by finally kissing her gently. 

Kathryn tried not to respond, but he was so gentle and insistent. He pulled her tighter against him, wrapping his arms around her. His mouth opened hers, pressing deeper and she gave in finally with a soft moan responding. He tasted of herbs and earth. She loved that taste. 

Her desire for him took over and she pressed up to him, wrapping her arms around him. She leaned him back lowering him to the floor, he slid his hands up her back. She felt through their thin workout clothing his need for her grow. She gasped knowing they should stop, but didn't want to. Everything felt good about him, his kiss and his hands. 

Chakotay wanted her, she was responding fully to him, not holding back this time. He then rolled over onto her, their legs entwining, his hardness pressed against his shorts and onto her abdomen. He wanted her to feel his desire and passion for her. She pressed up against him more, he groaned wanted to do more. He began to kiss her face and throat and she closed her eyes, tilting back her head holding him. He slid his hands down her sides and over the sides of her breasts, his thumbs grazed over her buds through the thin material and she gasped, arching more to him. 

Kathryn's head was spinning, but she wasn't sure if it were from the lump on her head or the passion she was feeling. The moment his thumbs brushed her breasts, it felt as if an electric jolt shot through her and she gasped instinctively. She felt his hands move lower, his fingers pulled her tee-shirt up over her hips and they slowly slid inside. She felt them come in contact with her hot skin, he kissed her again. She responded, but his hands were moving under her shirt and she felt reality hit home again. 

She gasped wanting him to stroke each part of her, but it was wrong. She began to stiffen up, she pulled away, "Chakotay, stop it -" she said in a deep voice, the passion heard. 

He looked at her, the passion seen in his eyes, "why?" 

Tears filled her eyes, she touched his face, his hands stopped just below her breasts. 

"We can't be intimate Chakotay, no matter how much I wish it -" he kissed her again, she responded. He was trying to change her mind, she whimpered as the tears fell, she pulled away again taking his face in her hands. 

He pulled his hands out from under her shirt and gently stroked her tears away. 

"Kathryn, don't cry," he whispered tenderly. “Open your heart to me please, let me in. Don't deny yourself this closeness anymore. I want to give you so much." 

She breathed, focusing on calming, her tears stopping. "I have...to think about this, please." She sighed staring deep into his eyes, "give me some time Chakotay." 

He stared down at her, and he nodded, but kissed her gently one final time. Then he slid off her, sitting up. 

Kathryn sighed and moved to sit up, she moaned feeling a wave of nausea hit her. She put her face in her hands, "I'd better get to...sickbay-"

“-Kathryn - ?" he said concerned, her color went slightly green. 

"-I'm going to be sick," she replied. 

“Come on," he said gently, standing and pulled her to her feet. He wrapped an arm around her waist and they walked out. 

=/\=

When they got to sickbay, Chakotay led her over to the main biobed, "computer, activate EMH."

The Doctor appeared, "please state the medical -" his gaze caught Kathryn sitting on the biobed. He darted over to them, "Captain, what happened!" 

"She hit her head," Chakotay told him while gazing at him, "while we were playing velocity. I think she has a concussion." 

The Doctor was running the medical scanner over her, "indeed she does Commander, right on the base of her skull. That must have been quite a hit," he walked around to face Kathryn. "Captain are you nauseous?" 

"Yes," she replied gritting her teeth. 

He nodded and walked over to his instrument tray, he added a vial to the end of a hypospray. "I'm going to give you a shot of inaprovalin to help that and the cranial swelling." He walked back over and injected the spray into her neck. "Lay down while it takes effect," she did with the help of Chakotay. He put a pillow under her neck. "Don't go to sleep, Captain." 

"I won't," she said, she knew the dangers if she did. The Doctor walked into his office, she lay there quietly as Chakotay pulled up a stool and sat beside her. "I'm sorry," she said softly. 

"For what?" he replied. "it was an accident-” 

"-Not that," she said glancing at him. "For leading you on –” 

“Kathryn," he said, "you're dealing with so much. I know your professional reasons why you’re holding back. But, personally? That's what concerns me." 

She sighed, "I wish I knew myself," he took her hand gently, they smiled. 

After about a half hour, the Doctor determined the swelling had gone down enough that she could go back to her quarters. But she had to remain awake for the next four to five hours until the swelling was completely gone. Chakotay said he'd stay with her to be sure she didn't sleep. 

They left sickbay on the way to her quarters, he gazed at her, “a shower would probably do you good," he suggested.

She nodded, “probably, but I think a bath would be better," they walked into a lift. "Captain's quarters," she said and the lift rose. 

The lift came to a halt, the doors slid open and they walked out. "Well, I'll give you an hour. That should be long enough." 

"Should be," she replied with a small smile. 

"I'll be calling you," he told her firmly. "I'm not going to let you fall asleep." 

She sighed, "I trust you will," they stopped outside her quarters. She turned to him, the corridor was empty and quiet. “An hour will be fine," he nodded and leaned over kissing her gently. She reached up stroking the side of his face while responding lightly, he then pulled away, kissing her hand. 

"I'll see you in an hour," he said and walked away. 

=/\=

She turned walking into her quarters and to her bedroom where she took off her tee shirt, leggings, shoes and socks. She walked in her bra and underwear into her bathroom, "computer, start bath, medium temperature." She heard the faucet turn on, she picked up a towel and walked over to the filling tub. She sat on the side and picked up a bottle of scented bath oil, opened it and poured a little in. Amidst the steam, the scent of rosemary and lilac filled the air and her senses. She sighed inhaling it. She capped the bottle, put it aside and stood up to remove the rest of her clothing. 

Several minutes later she lay in the warm water soaking. She began to wash, but her mind was on Chakotay. She thought back to the years before on New Earth and the bathtub he made for her, the evening she noticed he felt more for her. She closed her eyes remembering his tale of the angry warrior, her angry warrior. She knew what didn't happen while there, but could have almost if Voyager hadn't returned for them. Now that situation had arisen again, where they're attraction for each other had drawn them back, after so many years. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by her comm unit, "Chakotay to Janeway." 

"I'm here," she murmured. "Is it an hour already?" 

"Your okay then?" he asked concerned. 

"I'm fine," she replied. 

"Are you a prune yet?" he asked her, a hint of humor heard in his tone. 

She frowned, "I get the point. I'll get out." 

“You've got twenty minutes," he told her, "to make yourself descent, or I'll take you out myself." 

She sat up some at his somewhat suggestive tone, she smirked, "oh, really? Alright, now your point has really gotten across." She began to stand grabbing the towel. "And Chakotay -?" 

"-Yes?"

"Wipe that grin off your face," she ordered. "Janeway out," and stepped out of the bathtub beginning to dry off. 

She dressed into some fresh underwear and walked over brushing her hair. Once done, she pulled on a soft pair of sweat pants and white tee shirt and walked barefoot out to her living area to the replicator. Her door chime rang, she sighed amazed, and sometimes his punctuality was tiresome. "Come," and the doors slid open, he walked in dressed now in off-duty attire that consisted of tan trousers, white long sleeved shirt and brown shoes. He showered, she could smell his cleanness in the air and felt her blood rush. "Coffee?" she asked him. 

He nodded, "sure," and pulled out a chair at her table sitting down. 

“Computer," she said, "two coffee's please," and two cups appeared. She picked them up and turned to him. She stopped staring at him, her heart beat fast as he seemed so rugged and handsome at that moment. Then it occurred to her, those flowers had something to do with it. She shook it off, walked over and put them down, turned and picked up a small dish of sugar cubes in her small food locker under the replicator. She brought them over and sat them in front of him, "here you go," and sat down on the end of the table, near him. 

He put his regular two cubes in and stirred, "how's your head?" 

She shrugged, “no more nausea, thank god. But my head still hurts." She sipped her coffee as they sat in silence for a few minutes. She gazed at him, "are you hungry? I don't know about you, but I am." 

"For a full meal?" he asked. 

She shook her head, "no, just a little. Are you?" 

He shrugged, "I suppose. What did you have in mind?" 

She smiled and stood up, "something that Tom introduced to me once a few years ago." She walked over to the replicator, "computer, one bowl of hot buttered popcorn," and a medium sized glass bowl appeared. She picked it up and walked back over placing it on the table between them. "Dig in," and grabbed a small handful. 

He smiled picking up a few, "I've had popcorn before Kathryn.” She laughed, "I swear sometimes you tease me for the fun of it." 

She glanced at him, "maybe.” 

He laughed a little, as they ate. After a moment, he said, "about what happened on the holodeck -"

She held up her hand, "it's okay Chakotay, really," she said softly. She glanced down at her coffee, "if I didn't let protocol get in the way, I probably would have let more happen." 

He reached over taking her hand in his, "Kathryn, when you’re ready. I won't pressure you. I'll wait." 

She stared at him, and then put her other hand over his gently with a soft smile. "Oh, my dear friend, what would I do without someone like you?" 

"You won't have someone for these evenings?" he asked her smiling. 

She sighed patting his hand and he took it in his grip and picked it up kissing it. 

The next four hours, they polished off two bowls of popcorn, more coffee and ended up sitting on the sofa, with her legs stretched over his legs as he gave her a foot massage. She moaned in the pleasure of it, he watched her enjoy it and smiled. It was after 0100 and both were tired, and she was now safely past her danger of falling asleep while the concussion was still present. 

With her feet energized, she walked him to the door. "I'll see you on the bridge." 

He stared down at her with a nod, “okay," he pulled her gently to him. "Despite everything that's happened tonight, I had a wonderful time."

"I did to," she replied, he leaned down taking her mouth with his gently. She allowed herself to respond a little. 

After a moment, he pulled away, "goodnight Kathryn." 

"Goodnight Chakotay," she said and he walked out. She stood there, the doors slid closed and she walked back to her bedroom, changed into her nightgown and slipped between the bedcovers. "Computer, lights out," and they went out. She lay in the dark thinking of him and soon her dreams were filled of him. 

When she woke up that next morning, her head still hurt, but it wasn't too bad. She pulled herself out of bed and into the shower letting herself soak. She wasn't due on the bridge until 0900, since she was pulling a semi-double shift today. Chakotay would be doing the same tomorrow. 

She got out drying herself off and began to dress. Once her hair and make-up were done, she walked out to her living area dressed in her uniform trousers, tee shirt and boots. 

She stood by the replicator, "computer, one coffee," and the cup appeared. She took it and sipped from it. 

Her comm unit beeped, "Doctor to Janeway." 

She sighed, "Janeway here. What can I do for you Doctor?" 

"Just checking up," he replied, “to see how you're feeling?" 

"I'm fine," she told him. "My head aches a little, but that's all." 

"No nausea?" 

"No," she replied pulling out a chair at the table sitting down. 

"Very good," he said, "but if the headache doesn't go away, see me immediately." 

"I will," she said, "good day Doctor." She wanted some quiet before going to duty. 

"Sickbay out," he said, the link went silent. 

=/\=

When she arrived on the bridge, Neelix was there handing out more flowers, she walked down to her chair. “Goodmorning, commander," she said to him. 

"Goodmorning, Captain," he said, he saw she was watching Neelix who was over at engineering talking to B'Elanna. "How's your head?" 

She diverted her attention back to him, "better, although I have a mild headache still." 

He nodded, "ship's status report," he handed her the padd. 

She took it and turned it on and began to read. She looked over to B'Elanna, "B'Elanna what's the situation on the flow from the plasma injectors?" 

"Vorik is working on it," she replied. "The injector manifolds were slightly out of alignment, so the flow of plasma was being constricted. He should have it resolved in a few more hours." 

"Time?" she asked. 

"At least three hours," she replied. 

"Keep me posted," Kathryn said, she returned her attention back to the report. 

Despite how she tried to avoid him, Neelix finally stepped up to the command level. She sighed and lifted her chin, “Neelix." 

“For you, Captain," he said handing her three more roses. 

She took them, she caught Chakotay's brief glance in her direction with a small grin. "Thank you Neelix," he smiled and walked off the bridge. Chakotay's attention was back on the command display console, but he was still smiling. She glared at him, “wipe that smirk off your face," she said quietly. 

He looked over at her, "what smirk?" He asked innocently. 

She glared at him, groaned and stood up with the padd and flowers. "I'll be in my ready room," and she stormed down to it with him grinning after her. 

The rest of the day went by uneventful, the plasma injectors were finally realigned and she spent most of the shift in the ready room until Chakotay left at the end of the shift. She took the bridge when he left, waiting for Harry to show for Beta shift. Of course, Neelix showed up to give her two more roses.

The next day, Kathryn sat in her ready room going over the morning's department reports, miscellaneous reports and one injury report, hers. She sat back in her chair with a slight sigh thinking of that evening in the holodeck. She thought of his touch, how his body felt against hers... 

Her door chime rang, she blinked coming back to reality. She focused on the door, it rang again. “Come," she said, the doors slid open and Neelix walked in. To her relief, he wasn't carrying any roses. She smiled softly at him, "goodmorning Neelix." 

"Goodmorning, Captain," he replied and stood in front of her desk. "I was wondering if I could arrange a party?" 

“A party?" she asked. "What kind of party?" 

"For Valentine's Day," he replied. "On the evening the exchange ends with some champagne and other treats. I've noticed the crew is having a good time with the roses. I'm sure you've also noticed by now. I think the party would top things off nicely." 

Kathryn sat looking at him, liking the idea. Besides, it'd give her a chance to spend time with Chakotay on a more relaxed setting with the crew, and she could send her admirer elsewhere. She sighed, "I think it's an excellent idea Neelix. Give me a draft of what you want to plan when it finalized." 

"Thank you Captain!" he said happily. "I'll have it ready by the end of the shift," and he walked out, just as Chakotay was about to enter. "Commander," he walked out.

He walked in watching how happy Neelix looked, he walked up to her handing her a padd, "B'Elanna's warp core status report." She took it, "why was he so happy?" 

She sat back gazing up at him, "I just approved for him to hold a party. A Valentine's Day party on the night the exchange ends." 

He smiled at her, "are you going?" 

She shrugged, "of course. I should put in an appearance." 

He sat a little on the edge of her desk leaning in, “will you go with me?" 

She stared at him, "I'll think about it." 

“Goodmorning everyone!" Neelix said cheerily into his live feed. "It is now the sixth day into the ship's secret admirer rose exchange and boy have you people been keeping me busy! The whole ship is just filled with romance and happiness. I wouldn't be surprised if the Captain was asked to perform a few more weddings -" Kathryn smirked at that statement and glanced over at Chakotay who happened to be having coffee with her at the moment in her ready room. He smiled at her softly and she sipped her coffee.

“-So in case anybody is curious as to who's in the lead for the most roses," he continued. "Captain Janeway is ahead of Jenny Delaney by 32-29. So, whoever is sending flowers to the Captain, you'd better have a good reason for it." 

Chakotay grinned at her, she glared back at him. 

"Anyway," Neelix continued, "also more news. In celebration of this festive occasion, the Captain has authorized a Valentine's Day party that will be held the night the exchange ends in the mess hall started at 2100 hours. So all you lovebirds out there have a chance to meet and toast each other. Oh, and don't forget to wear different shades of red, since red is the color of love! Well, see you on my rounds, keep those requests coming. Thanks for viewing, 'A Briefing With Neelix,' good day," and he tapped the feed off. 

Both sat in silence for a few minutes, he said while looking at the small viewscreen on her desk computer. "So, do you have anything red?" 

She smirked and glanced at him sideways raising an eyebrow, "would you really like to know?" He looked at her smiling, his dimples showed especially that one on his chin she was so tempted to touch. She sighed, “you’re just going to have to wait and see." 

He chuckled, "Kathryn sometimes –“ 

"-What?" she asked in a teasing tone. 

He sighed, "I'll save it for later," he stood up with his empty cup. She gazed up at him, “I'll be on the bridge Captain, thanks for the coffee." 

"Sure, commander," she said with a nod, he turned and walked out. She sat there for a moment, suddenly she heard a chirp sound from her computer indicating she had a personal message. Curious, she leaned forward, tapped the appropriate key. 

"Seven more days," it read, "see you at the party. Your secret admirer." 

She sighed curious and wondering who sent it. She knew it was impossible to track the message, so she didn't bother. She stood up glancing at her doorway to the bridge knowing now it couldn't be Chakotay, he was just here moments before and there was no time for him to send it, even from the bridge. Although she now hoped it was him in some way. 

The next day, Kathryn received four more flowers while on the bridge. She left to her ready room to add them to the vase, but found it full. So she replicated up another vase with water and added the new roses to that. She smiled at them and noticed how all the flowers were still blooming and showing no signs yet of wilting. She found them remarkable, and then added more water to those as well. 

She returned to the bridge and sat back down. Chakotay wasn't on the bridge, since he was tending to business elsewhere at the moment. 

Shortly later, he had returned and was smiling. She noticed as he sat down, “what's so funny?" she asked curious. 

He sighed glancing over at her, "I guess Neelix's plan is working," she shrugged. He laughed softly, "on my way up, I found a couple locked together in the lift." She raised her eyebrow in amusement beginning to smile. 

"I guess the flowers are working," she said softly, cupping her chin in her hand while gazing across at him.

He leaned over to her and replied in the same tone, “are they for you?”

She stared at him, knowing what he was asking, she smiled wryly, "not yet." He smiled at her. Their eyes were still locked when they heard: 

"Cookies anyone?" Neelix asked stepping down from the lift and up to the command level. Kathryn broke her eye contact with him and turned smiling at him, "I thought these would keep the mood alive."

"What kind of cookies Neelix?" she asked.

“Valentine's Day," he replied, lowering a tray of heart-shaped cookies decorated in red icing with various messages written on them. "I made them, compliments of Lieutenant Barrows. Her mother's recipe." 

"Hmmm," Kathryn said intrigued, “well, I can't pass up homemade cookies," she took one, "pass them around Neelix. Thank you." 

He nodded with a smile, turned to Chakotay, "commander?" Chakotay took one and he moved on. 

Kathryn glanced at the message written on the cookie, it said, "I love you." Despite it was just a coincidence, she felt the color rise to her face. She glanced over at Chakotay who held up, "Be Mine." He winked at her and took a bite. 

Captain's Personal Log stardate 54107.10

The roses keep coming, since I’m now onto my second vase in the ready room. Of course my curiosity is getting the best of me on who's sending them. Yesterday, I believe I confirmed it isn't Chakotay -although I wish it were -to avoid any embarrassment that might come from this. 

But the crew is in a wonderful mood from Neelix's exchange program and that's good. Log out. 

Kathryn sat in her ready room reading Chakotay's shift rotation schedule, approving of the finalized version. Once done, she stood up to walk over to the replicator for some coffee. Her memory flashed back to their last time on the holodeck, how tender he was with her, how loving. 

She shook her head free of the memory, walked up to the replicator, "computer, coffee,” and the cup appeared on the base. She took it, taking a sip... 

..."Open your heart to me...Let me in...” Chakotay told her that night... 

...Kathryn sank down onto her sofa, she held the coffee in her hands. Her mind drifted back to all the times he showed affection for her, sometimes in a smile, sometimes in taking an extra shift so she could have time off. 

She leaned back remembering his touch on her face, her throat, her stomach and how he brushed her breasts...she felt her body react at that thought. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to imagine what his hands totally felt like on her. She let her being imagine a relationship with him and that it was possible and she'd find personal happiness again. 

But could she really with all the responsibility she carried? He knew her main purpose was to get the ship and crew back to the Alpha Quadrant. Will she? They could be here for the next 30 years in the Delta Quadrant, fighting off more hostile aliens as they traveled. 

She had accepted her loveless situation many years before when they were first stranded. Mark's last letter solidified that fact. But here was Chakotay, a man who stood by her side, who protected her subtly, stood against her decisions and questioned her when necessary, laughed with her, supported her in any way he could. He was here offering his heart and hand to her, all she'd have to do was take it. 

Her door chime rang, "come," she said softly. The doors slid open and he walked in. He saw her on the sofa and stepped up to her, she attempted to focus on him, "commander there a problem?" 

He shook his head, "no, just Tom's conn report," he handed it to her. She took it, he noticed she was looking at him, but not really seeing him. "Kathryn, you okay?" 

"I'm fine," she replied and caught his gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, she found her voice, "if that'll be all?" He nodded to her, but perplexed at her mood, "dismissed, commander." He nodded, turned and left. 

Kathryn finally took a sip of her coffee, she decided since it were her day off tomorrow, she'd visit the holodeck and the Maestro. He always seemed to help clear her head when she was confused, perhaps his outlook on her situation would help her decision. 

When the shift ended, she left the bridge to Chakotay who was pulling a semi-double and a regular shift tomorrow. He watched her leave, but was curious to her mood, because it hadn't changed. 

He left the bridge to Harry tempted to call on her, but it was 2300 hours and her day off began when she left. He wasn't sure if she'd appreciate the intrusion, but she was still on call... 

=/\=

Kathryn sat in her armchair covered in her blanket and reading a book. She sighed relaxed, but seemingly content for the moment. Neelix had delivered her flowers, which brought her total to thirty-nine. She glanced at the flowers and smiled softly and heard her door chime. She lifted her head noting the late hour, Seven had been the only one in the past to visit her at night or in the early morning hours. 

"Come," she said, the doors slid open and she sat up surprised at her visitor. "Chakotay? What's wrong? There a problem?" 

He shook his head putting his hand up, "there's nothing wrong Kathryn -"

"-Then why are you here?" she asked curious.

"I thought you'd might like some company," he replied and she stared at him. "If not, I'll leave-”

Kathryn shook her head, "no Chakotay, it's alright. It's just unusual for me to get a visit like this, especially at this hour. The only person who does is Seven and she just shows up at 0200 sometimes." He smiled, she sat up some more closing the book, “please, sit down." He did on the sofa across from her, "so what's on your mind?" 

"You," he replied and she raised her eyebrow, he smiled at her. "Is that so shocking?" 

She sighed, “perhaps at one time, but after the past week, I don't think so." She wanted to talk, but was unsure about what. "Hungry? It was a long shift for you." 

He shrugged, "I'm fine, thanks." They sat there for another moment, "what do you plan to do with your day off?" 

"I'll be on the holodeck," she replied, he nodded, "and not in Fairhaven if that's your concern." He shrugged, she sat forward and touched his arm. "Chakotay," she said softly, "I'll be with the Maestro," he smiled at her, she did as well. 

He reached over and gently stroked her face, she shivered a little at his tender touch. Chakotay realized she was trying to accept him as more than a friend, but was still holding back. He was afraid she'd pull away again, but at this moment she wasn't. "Kathryn," he said gently, she stared at him, her blue eyes deep and filled with uncertainty. He got on his knees in front of her, matching his height with hers, "you're so beautiful." His heart thudded in his chest, he wanted to tell her so much, but was afraid she'd run. 

She reached over cupping the sides of his face in her hands, he held them stroking the insides of her wrists. "Chakotay -" she whispered. 

He leaned over and kissed her gently, her arms lay around his neck. She moaned softly trying not to pull away, his mouth was gentle. She realized she wanted this moment, they both did, or he wouldn't have shown up like this. She began to respond, opening her mouth under his, he kissed her a little deeper now, pulling her closer. 

He felt her response, as much as she was allowing herself and his body reacted to it. He groaned still kissing her, wrapping his arms around her. He ran his hands up her back, over her tee shirt and he pulled the shirt out of her trousers. She wrapped her arms around him with a soft gasp, he slid his hands beneath, stroking her soft skin. He stroked her back, over her bra, the curves of her breasts. Then he removed them and broke the contact gazing at her, her eyes filled with desire. 

"Goodnight, Kathryn," he told her softly. He kissed her gently once more and stood up, she stared up at him. "See you in two days," and walked out.

Kathryn sat there, her head spinning over what just happened. Unsure whether or not he was teasing her or showing her what she could be possibly be missing. But her body tingled still after his touch, she sighed sitting back with a groan, "Chakotay, your making this very difficult." 

“Katarina!" da Vinci said pleasantly, as Kathryn entered his workshop that next morning. "What a pleasant surprise! How long has it been?" 

She smiled walking up to him, he took her hands in his placing two chaste kisses on the sides of her face with a smile. "A few years Maestro," she replied.

He studied her for a moment, "and your hair! Whatever happened to your long, beautiful tresses?" 

She smiled softly, "a change was needed Maestro, a lot has happened since we last visited." 

"Well, how long can you stay?" he asked her curiously. "We can sit, have some tea and biscuits." 

Kathryn was dressed in simple black trousers, white pullover top and black flats. "I have some time to spare," she told him, happy he'd be able to talk with her. 

"Let me get some prepared," he said, "please, sit down," and he turned leaving. Kathryn walked over to the windows and gazed out at the Italian countryside. She inhaled the clean air closing her eyes, missing this part of her program. She heard him in the kitchen and folded her arms over her chest, her mind and heart filled with questions on how she should deal with a relationship with Chakotay. He came out a moment later carrying a silver platter with a teakettle, two china cups and a plate of biscuits on them. She walked over to the fireplace with him and sat down in one of the cushioned high-backed chairs. He placed the tray on the table between the chairs and sat down opposite her. He poured them each a steaming cup, and then handed hers over to her. She took it, "so Katarina, why have you come to visit after such a long while?" 

She sipped her tea with a sigh, "my mind and heart are in turmoil, Maestro." 

"Your 'heart'?" he asked a little surprised. "Why Katarina, this is the first time you've brought a problem like this to me."

Kathryn sighed, "that's because there weren't any problems before this." She paused, “in hearts worth considering."

He stared at her for a moment, "this man who has put your heart in turmoil. How long have you known him?" 

"Almost eight years," she replied softly.

"That's a long time," he said, she nodded. "Do you trust him?" 

Kathryn smirked with a shrug, "in the beginning I found it difficult, but I had to, for the sake of our two peoples. As the years passed, I trusted him with everything, my life, my ship." 

"I sense something happened," he said, "to make you doubt his trust again?"

She nodded, “yes, he wasn't in control of himself at the time, but what he did...hurt me deeply at the time." 

"I can see that," he replied. "Have you begun trusting him again?" 

"Yes," she replied, "and it's been difficult, but better." 

He nodded, "my experiences of the heart have taught me one thing. You have to look deep into yours, to see what yours is telling you. Has he shown his love for you at all?" 

She shrugged, "I don't know if it's been love –” 

"-Katarina!" he said with a sigh. "Love isn't just said in words, but gestures. Now tell me, has he shown his love for you?" 

Kathryn thought back recently to the night of her concussion, "well, several nights ago I had a minor head injury. He stayed with me until I was safe." 

"Well, then," he said simply, “if that's not a sign of love, I don't know what is. You needed him and he was there. What's his name?"

"Chakotay," she replied. 

He frowned, "Cha-ko-tay? I've never heard of a name like that before. But, he sounds spiritual -" 

She smiled at the Maestro's amazing perceptiveness. "-In fact, he is.”

“He sounds wonderful Katarina," he said. He thought for a moment, and then leaned forward to her. “Do you love this Cha-ko-tay?"

Kathryn stared at him, she sighed, “I don't -" 

Da Vinci shook his head saying scoldingly, " -Katarina! Don't ponder the idea if you love him or not! You've spent close to eight years with this man at his side. By now you should know if you love him or not."

Kathryn looked away in thought, understanding da Vinci's outlook. She realized he was right, but she was scared to admit it to herself. She was scared to find out how much he'd love her back. She raised her head gazing at him, "yes I do, deeply." She sighed, "but, how do I get around protocol dealing with situations like this? Worry about the repercussions when my superiors find out?" 

He sighed, "Katarina, worrying about something that might not happen for awhile is fruitless." He reached over taking her hand, "love has many ways of working out for everyone," he told her gently. "If you let love into your heart, my dear, it will all come together when the time is right. You love him and he loves you, just let it happen as it should." 

Kathryn sat there, tears welled in her eyes, she sighed her voice breaking, "I'm so happy we were able to visit Maestro." He patted her hand gently and smiled at her. 

After their talk, Kathryn helped him with some of his projects. During this he asked her more about Chakotay, his traits, what made him so attractive. He had her remembering more of the little things he did for her throughout the years. Her mind and heart were suddenly no longer in turmoil as she began to see there was away for both of them to be together. 

And, of course, the question arose of who was sending the flowers? 

The next morning when Kathryn came on duty for her shift, Chakotay noticed she looked less stressed and more relaxed. She was carrying her ever-present cup of coffee as she sat down in her chair. 

"Goodmorning, Captain," he said, "ship's status report,” and handed her a padd. She smiled taking it and thumbed her code beginning to read. "How's the Maestro?" 

She glanced at over at him, "wonderful and was very happy to see me." He smiled at her, she leaned back, "what?" 

He shrugged, "nothing. You just look...relaxed." 

She stared at him, trying to see why he was looking at her so intently. She looked back down at the padd, escaping his gaze, shocked that it affected her at the moment. Her heart skipped a beat, she focused as best as she could, she nodded, “I am. Much more." She had to get back to business, "so anything interesting happen yesterday?" 

"You would have heard," he replied, "but everything is in the report." He paused for a moment, then, "oh, there is one thing you missed." 

She looked at him, "what's that?" 

"Some great cookies," he replied and she laughed softly. He smiled at her, "yeah, Neelix has been going cookie crazy. He's borrowing recipes from everyone on board who's willing to share."

She let the love she felt for him shine through a little. She stared at him and leaned towards him some, "and you didn't save me any?" 

Chakotay saw and felt her sudden playfulness, this was a sure change. What did she and da Vinci talk about? Whatever it was, it was a good sign. She was being more open to him again. He smirked, "go check your ready room." 

She smiled at him, was about to go check when Neelix entered the bridge from the aft turbo-lift by Harry. He handed two more to Harry and stepped down to the science station giving two more the young ensign on duty. He stepped up to the command level, "goodmorning Captain. These are for you," he handed her six roses. 

Kathryn took them, "six? That's the most I've gotten so far." 

"Yesterday was your day off," he said. “So three for yesterday and three for today." 

She nodded, "of course," she sighed. "Well, if you'll excuse me, but I should put these in some water,” she stood up with the padd and the flowers. "You have the bridge, commander," and stepped down to her ready room. 

=/\=

Kathryn entered her ready room, she checked her desk and found a plate of Valentine's Day cookies waiting for her. She smiled and picked up the first one, decorated in pink sugar and written with, "Be Mine." She wanted to thank Chakotay for making sure Neelix didn't forget her. 

That's when she noticed two other messages written on the heart-shaped cookies, "In 3 Days," "Secret Admirer." 

She couldn't help but laugh softly at her sender's creativity, but deep in her heart she hoped it was Chakotay who was doing this. 

She put the cookie back down and walked up to the vase adding the six roses to the second vase. She walked over to the replicator, "computer, coffee." A cup appeared before her and she took it sipping it, walked over to her desk and sat down taking the padd to read again. 

Hours later she sat at her desk studying her computer when her door chime rang. “Come," she said not looking up as the doors slid open. A moment later she lifted her head seeing Chakotay standing before her. "Commander?" 

He handed her some padd's, "Harry's Ops report and Tuvok's tactical." She took them, "what are you reading?" 

She sighed, "sensor's picked up a possible McAllister C-5 Nebula. I'm thinking of taking the ship in a bit closer for a better look. Its less than two light year's away." 

He looked at her findings, "McAllister? I don't think I've heard of that." 

She glanced up at him, "the last known was spotted back in 2369 by the Enterprise-D in Cardassian space near Minos Korva. I believe that's when you were with the Maquis?" He nodded, she sighed continuing. "Anyhow, it's an interesting phenomenon, because it's a protosteller cloud charged with intense particles and tends to cause degradation of spacecraft hulls." 

"Should we even get that close?" 

She shrugged, "I'll have Tom keep us stationary about 10,000 kilometers, and it'll allow us to take better readings." With that decision made, she said, “Janeway to Paris." 

"Yes, ma'am," Paris responded. 

"Alter course," she replied, "to a heading of mark 439.1. There's a McAllister C-5 Nebula I want to take a look at. When it's on sensors, go to impulse. Let me know when we have it on the viewscreen." 

"Aye, ma'am," he replied. "Conn out." 

Kathryn looked over at Chakotay, who now sat in front of her desk. “Join me for a coffee?" 

He smiled, "I'd love some," she rose up and walked around, up to her coffee set on the coffee table and poured each of them a cup. He joined her, she handed it to him after putting the two sugars in. 

She sat down on the sofa with a sigh, he sat down near her. She put her feet up on the table and crossed her ankles. She glanced at him, “Chakotay, what do you know about those cookies Neelix left me?" 

He shrugged, she judged his expression, but it revealed nothing. “Nothing, except to leave them in here for you," he replied innocently. "Why?" she stared at him, he tried to stay firm under her scrutiny. "Kathryn?" 

She shook her head, "nothing. Give me one of those reports," and he did, managing to hide a smile. 

=/\=

The ship neared the nebula's proximity, Kathryn and Chakotay returned to the bridge. "All stop, Tom," she told him. "Don't venture any closer than 10,000 kilometers. Harry start scanning the cloud," both of them stared at the screen, the pink and gray cloud sat before them, its electrical charges causing flashes of white energy throughout. 

“Goodmorning, everyone!" Neelix said into his live feed that next morning around 01030. "I can't tell how exciting these next two days are going to be. Tomorrow the exchange ends at 1500 hours, so last minute requests should be made. And to remind everyone, between 1500 and 2100 hours, the sender's must reveal themselves to the recipients, either at the party or in private. All these couples must show for the party because a wonderful surprise will be given to the lucky couple who received the most flowers." 

He then continued with other information, including an interview with Lieutenant Sidney Burke, who had mastered a rare growing crystal technique. 

=/\=

Kathryn sat in her ready room that afternoon going over the new data on the nebula. She was fascinated by it, but didn't plan to have an away team sent out to due to its properties. Her door chime rang and she lifted her head, "come," and Chakotay entered. “Commander, what can I do for you?" 

He walked over to her desk and stared at her for a moment, she was about to say something when he said, "Kathryn -" he paused for a moment, she waited for him to continue. He sighed, “how's the analysis on the nebula?" 

Kathryn stared at him, she knew he had something on his mind, the question, was what. So she went along with him, "nothing worth sending an away team for, just a few charged plasma particles that would bounce our people around in the gravimetric distortions. I don't think I want to send them into something that could risk their lives.” 

"Not even in the Delta Flyer?" he asked. 

She stood up with a shake of her head, "this type of nebula would tear the plating off the Flyer." She walked around, "coffee?" She asked as she passed him. 

"No thanks," he replied watching her walk up to the replicator, the gentle sway of her hips...She turned away with a cup gazing over at him still. 

Enough was enough, she decided, his unusual manner was making her slightly uneasy and she hated that feeling. She sighed walking down to him, "Chakotay, obviously something is on your mind, why don't you tell me?" 

Chakotay stared at her, how direct she was. She stood before him with a hand on one hip and holding the coffee cup in the other. She was beautiful, he had all he could do not to pull her into his arms and kiss her then. Instead a gentle smile formed, "I was curious if you're going to the party with anyone yet?" 

She shrugged, "I haven't decided yet. Why?" 

He gazed at her, "I was wondering if you'd...go with me?" He took his chance to ask her again. 

Kathryn stared up at him, her heart lurched when he asked. She wanted nothing more, but she replied coolly, "why Chakotay, are you asking me out on a date?” 

Her tone threw him, he wasn't sure if she were teasing him or not. She was so serious, so he went along. He shrugged, "if that's what you want to call it, yes.” 

Kathryn smirked at him, she tried keeping her voice steady and emotions at bay. "What if I have to go with my sender? Those were Neelix's rules to this whole thing.”

"You're the captain," he told her simply. "You don't need to show with this crewmember if you don't want to." 

"Of course," she replied with a shrug. "But considering I stand a chance at winning this flower exchange, I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings." 

"How do you know your winning?” he asked her curiously. 

“Neelix informed me this morning," she replied, “that I'm tying with Jenny Delaney." She sighed, "but I prefer not to win," she leaned against her desk gazing at him steadily. “I’m getting enough attention as it is." 

He took his moment by stepping right up to her. Kathryn felt her heart skip a beat and her breath caught. She could smell his aftershave. He leaned in closer to her saying softly, "you do realize there's nothing wrong with the captain winning?" She couldn't find her voice as her heart thudded in her chest. He then gently kissed her, sliding an arm around her waist pulling her up against him. She moaned softly responding, he pulled away after a moment staring at her. “Think about it Kathryn," he released her with a smile and walked out leaving her speechless. 

Her head spun with his actions, she felt him teasing her, knew he was, and she wanted to get back at him, somehow. 

She walked back around her desk and sat down in thought. She decided to put him on the spot. She messaged Neelix anonymously sending three roses to him. She smiled, picked up her padd to continue reading. 

=/\=

Kathryn was still in her ready room working when Neelix came around with more flowers. He entered handing her only one this time. She took it leaning back in her chair staring at him. 

"Jenny Delaney received," he told her, "two more captain, which now puts her in the lead." 

Kathryn sighed, "that's okay Neelix. I'm not disappointed."

“Your not?" 

She shook her head, "no. I think it'd be embarrassing if the captain won this exchange, especially if it deals with crew morale."

"If you say so, Captain," he said.

Kathryn watched him turn to leave, "Neelix?" He turned back to her, "if I do happen to get in the lead again?" He nodded, “don't tell me. I'd rather be surprised." 

He winked at her, "very well, Captain," and he walked out. She smiled and leaned back thinking of Chakotay and the kiss he left her with earlier that afternoon. 

=/\=

That evening, she sat on the bridge watching the viewscreen. All reports were finished for the day, Chakotay was taking care of some personal problems that had shown up a little earlier.

Neelix showed up shortly before dinner to hand out more roses. He handed her three more, she took them. He moved onto Harry. She sat gazing at the flowers when Chakotay returned, and he was carrying the three roses. She fought down a smile as he sat down, "problem resolved, commander?" 

"Yes," he replied. 

She glanced at him, "flowers?" 

He sighed, "it was unexpected. Suddenly after two weeks of this exchange, someone decided to send me some." He leaned closer to her, "you wouldn't know anything about this, would you?"

She shook her head, "not a thing," he smiled at her. She had all she could not to do to laugh. She sighed, "think of it this way, someone here on board likes you."

"I hope so," he said, she glanced at the screen, but he noticed the color rise slightly in her face. He shook his head, she didn't have good expressions when it came to this. She was great at pool, but he wasn't sure about poker. He touched a control on the command display, "are you having dinner this evening?" 

Kathryn reached up massaging the back of her neck, she sighed, "I don't know." 

"How about a massage instead?" he asked gently. She glanced at him, “you look as if you could use it." 

She smiled at him, tempted to take him up on the offer. She thought how his massages felt and affected her. She wasn't sure if she could control herself by letting herself go like that.

"No thanks, I'll be fine." 

"Join me for dinner?" 

She saw his eyes, how he cared for her, loved her. Besides, she was hungry, "dinner will be fine," she replied. She stood up with him, "Tuvok we'll be in the mess hall if you need us."

"Yes, Captain," he replied as they walked into the lift. 

Kathryn stood in the lift, "Deck 5," she told the computer and the lift sank. She noticed Chakotay gazing at her, "what are you looking at?" 

He shrugged, “you," and saw the color rise in her face. He smiled at her gently, “you’re beautiful Kathryn. I can't help myself sometimes." 

“Try," she told him firmly, he stepped closer to her. She knew what he was suddenly thinking. "Chakotay, not here!" 

"Computer, stop lift," he said, the lift came to a halt between decks three and four. He pressed her up against the wall, placing both hands on each side of her and leaned in. "Kathryn, are you nervous about tomorrow?" 

Her heart was pounding and her breath grew shallow. His closeness had her head spinning, she couldn't think. She found her voice, trying not to let her reaction show, "why should I be?"

He smiled at her, “because you don't know who it is." 

“I know," she told him simply. 

He dipped his head closer to her, "do you? Who is it?" 

She stared at him, the heat from his body making her temperature rise. She wanted to say it was him, but she had no proof. He had caught her, who was she going to say? "It's -" and he kissed her gently and deeply. She moaned softly as he pulled her against him wrapping his arms around her. 

He didn't feel her respond right away, so he kept kissing her and opened her mouth with his tongue gently. She groaned clinging to him beginning to respond, their tongue's meshing sweetly. His hand slid around to her lower back supporting her, caressing her over her uniform. He wanted to tell her how he felt, he knew she felt the same, or she would have pulled away by now. She felt good in his arms, he wanted to hold her forever. After a moment he kissed her face and throat, she sighed, "Kathryn I couldn't help myself." 

She took his face in her hands, "Chakotay are you playing with me?" 

He studied her, "no, I'm not. I'm trying to prove to you what we could have together." 

She smiled softly, stroking his jaw line, "well, your doing a good job at it." He smiled, "I just need time, that's all." 

"I'm patient," he said gently stroking her face. He sighed, "but, I'm also hungry." He stepped away from her, she pushed herself off the lift wall staring at him. "Computer, resume," and the lift continued its descent. 

As the lift slowed, she reached out touching his arm and he gazed at her, "thank you Chakotay." He smiled at her with a nod taking her hand and kissed it. The lift halted and the doors slid open, she didn't let go, instead stepped closer hooking her arm with his, his heart soared. They walked out together to the mess hall. 

They ate dinner in the mess hall among the crew talking quietly. When they were finished, her shift was over. He returned to the bridge for an extended shift, but just before the lift dropped her off on her deck he kissed her gently before she stepped off. 

The final day arrived for the exchange to end, with much anticipation and excitement. Neelix was taking last minute requests, finding himself busier than ever that day with all the plans he had to complete for the party that night. But he couldn't be happier. 

Kathryn received three more flowers that morning as well. Although he didn't tell her she was in the lead or not, she had a feeling she was. She sat in her chair going over the engineering report when Chakotay leaned over to her saying softly, “so are you going to the party with me tonight?" 

She glanced over at him, leaned over saying quietly, “I haven't decided yet." She straightened and said, "Tom move us away from the nebula and set course for home." 

"Aye, Captain," he said, inputting the commands. 

=/\=

Later that morning Kathryn left the bridge to Chakotay to take a tour of the ship, something she tried to do at least once a month to keep a personal connection with the entire crew. This new routine started for her after the time in the Delta Flyer with her three young, misplaced crewmembers more than four months before.

She was on Deck 5 when she found Seven heading to astrometrics. "Captain," Seven acknowledged her politely. 

"Goodmorning Seven," she said, "may I walk with you?" 

Seven stopped abruptly and turned to her, "have I done anything wrong?" 

Kathryn shrugged, "no Seven. I thought since I was making my monthly rounds, we could walk together." Seven shrugged and they began to walk. She sighed, "so are you going to the party tonight?" 

“No," Seven replied. 

Kathryn nodded, "have you gotten any flowers?" 

Seven put her hands behind her back, she sighed, "I have received twelve. I have found this entire exchange irrelevant and annoying." 

Kathryn smiled softly, remembering the Maestro's advice and suggestion on how to deal with Chakotay's love. “Seven," she said gently, and nodded to a passing crewmember. "Love isn't irrelevant. I thought you realized that with Axum." 

Seven stopped and turned looking at her, her blue eyes met Kathryn's gray-blue's with intensity. “I have...realized that,” she replied, a hint of emotion heard. She sighed collecting herself, “nonetheless Captain, I don't want anyone on board to give me anymore flowers." 

Kathryn stared deep into the former Borg's eyes, seeing the pain in her eyes. She understood the young woman's sadness. "Seven it is possible that whoever is sending them to you might be doing it as a friend.” 

Seven raised her eyebrow in question, "did Neelix state the rose must be given in pure love?" 

Kathryn nodded, "yes he did. But there is also love in friendship, not necessarily romantic love. So please come to the party, I think it'd be good for you and I'd like to see you there." 

After a moment Seven sighed, "I will consider it." Kathryn smiled, patted her arm and they parted at astrometrics. 

=/\=

Early that same afternoon Kathryn sat in her ready room thinking about her conversation with Seven. She realized she should heed her own advice as well. Da Vinci made her realize her love for Chakotay was deeper than friendship, but more romantic. She knew she was in love with him, it was just accepting it in her mind to fight the Starfleet protocol that was constantly rearing its head up. 

She was also starting to grow a little anxious, since that evening her sender would reveal himself. It was only after 1300, Chakotay was working part of Alpha and Gamma shifts, so she had sent him to lunch. She stood up and walked back out to the bridge and sat down in her chair. 

She sat going over the Doctor's crew update on the beginning of the yearly physicals, which she dreaded. She wasn't due for hers for another week. Neelix showed up for the last exchange, he handed more out. He walked up to her handing her three more roses, wished her luck and left. 

Chakotay returned to the bridge after lunch and work in his office. 

As the shift wore on and to a close, she couldn't help but be nervous. Her sender still hadn't revealed himself. Chakotay watched her curiously, when she wasn't looking, he smiled at her. 

She stayed on through part of Gamma shift, and then left the bridge to him, still not giving him an answer about the party. 

=/\=

Hours later, after dinner in her quarters, she bathed in a lilac-scented bath and dressed in her robe to fix her hair and make-up. Her heart was beating a little faster, but she tried keeping calm with some of Tuvok's meditation techniques. 

It was just after 2100 hours and she was dressed in a silk, pink blouse, black trousers and black flats. She stood having some coffee waiting, soon deciding if her sender didn't show shortly, she'd go to the party on her own. 

Suddenly her door chime rang and her heart skipped a beat. She knew it was whoever sent the flowers. Now she did her best to put her command mode into place. She lifted her chin, the chime rang again. “Who is it?" There was no answer, "come in," she said finally with a sigh. The doors slid open and she watched an arm appear, the sleeve was white linen. The hand was holding out another rose to her, it beckoned her, she stepped forward towards her desk. "Come in," she said again, and Chakotay stepped into view, she caught her breath in surprise, but was happy nonetheless. He was dressed in a white linen pullover top, stitched cream vest, dark brown trousers and shoes. "Chakotay?" He walked in, the doors slid closed behind him, he walked up to her. "It was you? I -" 

He touched her mouth with his finger quieting her. "I dropped clues the whole time Kathryn, but you didn't see them." He handed her the rose, "and since my sender didn't show herself, I figured it was you." She smiled up at him, her eyes growing moist with oncoming tears, "and you look beautiful Kathryn." 

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the roses seemed to open more at that moment. She whispered, the emotion heard, "I so hoped it was you, but I wasn't sure." 

Chakotay smiled tenderly at her as a tear streaked down her face, he took her face in his hands, stroking the tears away gently. "Oh Kathryn -" and he kissed her gently. 

Kathryn felt his mouth on hers and responded fully now, wrapping her arms around him. She let her mouth open to his and he slid his arms around her pulling her tighter against him. He felt his passion for her ignite, as she pressed her body against his, he could feel every curve of her body molded to his. She was soft in all the right places, she smelled of lilacs from her bath. 

He groaned and began kissing her face as she clung to him, he gazed at her. "Will you go to the party with me now?" She smiled and nodded, he sighed saying lovingly, "Kathryn I love you," more tears sprang from her eyes. He continued to wipe them away. "Throughout it all, the Borg, the Hirogen, and the Equinox -I've loved you deeply. Almost from that moment I first saw you when I beamed aboard the bridge." 

Kathryn reached up stroking his face, "I've loved you for a very long time Chakotay." 

Chakotay kissed her passionately this time, she responded as they held each other. His heart swelled with the love he had for her, he then lifted her into his arms. She gazed at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you so much," he kissed her deeply again and carried her over to the armchair. He sank down into it holding her across his legs. 

Kathryn held his face in her hands and she finally broke contact gazing at him. She whispered, “I love you. Your friendship and support all these years have meant so much to me," he slid his hands up her arms gently. She shivered under the touch, her skin tingling. "All those difficult times...When I was over on the cube, everything you did for me. I needed you so much." 

He reached up to her shoulders, caressing her neck gently. A soft gasp sounded from her as her body began to warm to him. "I wanted to be there Kathryn, I was so worried about you. I just wanted you back here safe, when you appeared in sickbay as a hologram, I was so sure I'd lost you." She stroked his face, more tears filled her eyes. "I was...so angry knowing you were assimilated. I wanted to rescue you then and there." 

"I thought about you," she whispered, "it helped keep my fears away. I wanted nothing more than to be back with you." He kissed her deeply again, his hands slid slowly down her blouse, caressing her gently. She moaned softly when his hands stroked her breasts, she didn't pull away, but allowed his touch. 

His fingers played with the buttons on her blouse, his desire growing for her, pressing up against his trousers. He wanted her so much, but they were expected at the party, she arched her back to him when he stroked her breasts. He whispered, "Kathryn can you accept us as a couple? I'll understand if you decide-" 

She touched her fingers to his mouth quieting him. "I love you." She took his hand and placed it on her breast over the blouse and pressed her body against his. "What do you think?" she replied desirably. 

He kissed her again deeply, she responded, her breast fit perfectly in his hand. He slid it up beginning to unbutton the blouse, needing to feel her softness totally. "I love you Kathryn, I'll always love you." He opened her blouse, her breasts exposed in a white satin-like bra. He slid his hands up cupping them. She gasped in the pleasure, arching her back to him. "I want you so much Kathryn -" 

"-Chakotay," she whispered, as the pleasure swam through her. He lowered his mouth down to her throat placing a kiss that was deep and warm. She sighed, his hands lifted her up towards him, bringing her closer. He began kissing lower, she closed her eyes to the pleasure. "I want you...to," and groaned when he pushed part of her bra away from a risen bud and lowered his mouth down onto it beginning to savor it gently. "Oh my god!" she groaned feeling her insides melt and turn to liquid, she held his head as he continued his ministrations. 

He wanted her now more than ever as she lay in his arms, her body like putty. She tasted sweeter than he had ever known, she was more beautiful than he'd ever known. He kissed over to the other one taking it in his mouth, she gasped again. She felt her insides grow warm for him, she loved this feeling. It had been so long since she felt these sensations. 

He slid a hand down to her abdomen, caressing her gently, noticing her response as she shivered. He traced the outline of her trousers, slid a finger beneath, she shuddered at his touch. 

He waited until she calmed, and then slid his hand beneath and lower, his fingertips found her panties, and he stroked her over them. She groaned feeling him stroke her womanhood, over the material and her legs parted a little, allowing him better access. He continued to stroke, and then slid his hand over and inside finding the soft curls of her womanhood. She groaned in the pleasure again, he found her so aroused for him, he was ready to take her then. 

Kathryn felt his hand stroking her gently, wishing for him to continue. Then she remembered, she lifted her head in the pleasure, "Chak-otay! We've got to stop!"

He kissed her again deeply, and then gazed at her, "why?" 

"The party," she whispered in the passion she was feeling. “Remember?" He groaned with a sigh, she cupped the side of his face gently. "I really wish we could finish, but we really should go." 

He stared at her, “you’re right," he said with a sigh. He traced the shape of her mouth with his finger, "can we continue afterwards?" 

Kathryn kissed him deeply, stroking his face, she felt him wrap her closer. Her heart beat rapidly with her love for him. She kissed his face, his tattoo and gazed at him, "it's already being considered," she whispered desirably. She groaned when he placed a warn kiss between her breasts as she held his head. She sighed, "Chakotay, let's go," and began to pull away from him. He reluctantly let her go as she stood up beginning to button her blouse up again, after fixing her bra. Her body felt so alive at the moment, she knew if she wasn't required to show at this party, she wouldn't. She heard him also stand and he walked over behind her as she finished fixing herself, wrapping his arms around her waist. She sighed when he kissed the back of her neck, pulling her hips against his. "Chakotay! Stop, we can continue this later." 

"I love you so much," he whispered into her hair. 

"I love you," she said as his hands stroked her abdomen. She shivered, "Chakotay! I just fixed myself." 

"I don't know how long,” he groaned, "I'll be able to keep my hands off you." She turned quickly in his arms, taking his face in her hands. 

"Only for a few hours," she said softly. “Contain yourself," she pulled away from him catching her breath, knowing their passion would continue much later. These next few hours would drive her crazy, but it'd make their first time together even more special. She turned and walked into her bathroom checking her face and hair. Her lipstick was slightly smeared, she fixed that and straightened a lock of her hair. She turned and walked back out to him, he was looking much calmer now. “Ready?"

"Yes," he replied holding out his hand, she took it. They walked out heading to the party. 

=/\=

When they finally arrived in the mess hall, the noise could be heard down the corridor as the doors slid open and closed constantly. Kathryn and Chakotay entered and were greeted by everyone there. 

“Neelix outdone himself," she said looking around in shock. The mess hall was decorated lavishly in red and white sheer fabric that adorned the portals on the far side and draped down between each juncture to the floor. There were red hearts hanging from the ceiling, on the desert table, along the counter at the galley and cut out cupids stuck to the walls. And of course, there were small vases of roses on a few tables. 

Chakotay nodded, "it's quite...red," he resisted the urge to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her against him. 

Neelix spotted them, he was carrying a small tray with some champagne glasses on it. He was dressed in a red and white outfit that made Kathryn want to look the other way or laugh. The center of his coat had a huge heart in the center, with a gold arrow through it and it said, "kissed by a fool." 

"Captain! Commander!" he said happily walking over to them. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd even show." 

Kathryn smiled at him, "Neelix we always come to your parties. And where did you get that outfit?" 

"This?" he asked. "Made it myself, with Naomi's help. Champagne?" 

"Thank you Neelix," she said taking a glass, Chakotay took one himself. She noticed Seven with the Doctor. Seven wasn't wearing anything special for the occasion, except her purple outfit. The Doctor had changed his attire matrix into a black tuxedo with a red rose in the lapel. She hated to admit it, but they made quite a pair. 

"Chakotay!" Tom called from a nearby table with B'Elanna. He was dressed in a vivid red, button-down shirt and black trousers. "Captain! Sit with us." 

Kathryn glanced up at him, she was much shorter without her boots on. He smiled tenderly at her, "it’s up to you," she said. "Personally I'd rather be alone with you -" 

He nodded, “same here, my love. But that will be impossible right now." 

"Be sociable," she whispered, squeezing his arm gently and he smiled. "I'll be right back," and walked over to Seven and the Doctor. 

B'Elanna, who was dressed in short, sleeveless red dress stood up and walked over to him carrying a glass of champagne. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned into him, "so, you didn't send her the flowers, huh?" She smiled at him, he smiled as well gazing at her. "Chakotay I knew it was you, you've been wearing your heart on your sleeve for her for years." 

He sighed, "B'Elanna –” 

"-I think you both look good together," she told him. "When I see Janeway in her off duty clothes and with you, she's the happiest I've ever seen her." He nodded, "you’re in love with her, aren't you?" 

Chakotay stared down at the half-Klingon, he smiled shyly, "yes -" and she embraced him tightly, he wrapped his arms around her. 

"I'm so happy for you Chakotay," she whispered in his ear. “Marry her soon."

"I might just do that," he told her. 

"Hey! What are you doing with my wife?" Tom asked approaching with Harry and Jenny Delaney. 

B'Elanna looked over at them and smiled, she dropped her arms. "He's taken helm boy." 

"Who?" Tom asked glancing at Harry who shrugged. 

"Never mind," she replied. Neelix approached them with a tray of finger desserts. She groaned, “Neelix wherever did you get that outfit?" 

Kathryn wove her way through the crowd to Seven and the Doctor. She approached them with a smile, "Seven. Doctor. Both of you look wonderful tonight." 

The Doctor gazed at Kathryn, "why Captain, thank you. I thought a tuxedo would be appropriate tonight. And you look...wonderful," he noticed she was glowing inside. 

"Thank you," she said. She looked at Seven, "have you found out who your admirer is?" 

Seven stared at her, "it was the Doctor. He wished for me to go to the party with him." 

"I'm happy to see you decided to go," she said. 

"So Captain," the Doctor asked, "have you found out who your admirer is?" 

Kathryn stared at him, “you know to?" 

"It is a small ship -" he replied. 

She nodded, “-of course." She paused for a moment, then, “yes I did. From someone very close to me. If you'll excuse me, enjoy yourselves, and that's an order Seven," she said firmly with a smile. 

Seven raised her eyebrow at her departing captain, "I will do my best to comply, Captain." Kathryn smiled and headed back to Chakotay, who she spotted with B'Elanna and Tom on the other side of the room. She saw Harry and Jenny on the way, who looked quite happy. 

Harry wore a white dinner jacket with a straight collar, black pants and a rose stuck in the lapel. 

Jenny wore a white dress with capped sleeves, her hair pulled up into a twist and a rose stuck in it. 

"Harry and Lieutenant Delaney," she said softly. "Both of you look wonderful." 

"Thank you Captain," Harry said. "You look wonderful yourself." 

"Are you enjoying yourselves?" 

"Very much so, ma'am," Harry said. 

Chakotay stood with his glass of champagne while talking to Tom and B'Elanna. He glanced over to see where Kathryn was. He saw her talking with Harry and Jenny. B'Elanna noticed and nudged Tom who grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Gee, Chakotay, who's your date tonight?" 

B'Elanna elbowed him hard in the ribs, "ow! B'Elanna!" 

"Behave yourself," she said harshly.

Chakotay shook his head glancing at the couple, "excuse me,” he headed across the room to the woman he was so in love with. 

Kathryn stood talking still with Harry and Jenny. She stole a glance towards Chakotay who was working his way over to her. She felt the color rise in her face and her legs grow weak as the man she loved was coming over to her with a purpose. To steal her away from all this so they could celebrate their newfound love in private. 

Neelix saw Chakotay and came over intercepting him, "excuse me, Commander-" 

His eyes and thoughts were on Kathryn, he paid no attention to the colorful Talaxian. "What...Neelix?" 

“I was wondering if you'd like to announce," he asked, "the winners of the roses?"

Chakotay gazed down, “you want me to what?"

"Announce the winners," Neelix replied. "I think it'd be a nice touch with one of Voyager's eligible bachelors making the announcement." 

This time he was paying attention, “Neelix, what? Me announce the winners?" Neelix nodded, "Neelix this whole thing is your idea, and you should do it. Besides, I'd rather be surprised myself." 

Neelix smiled, "okay, Commander. I understand."

Just as Neelix was about to leave, he reached out touching his arm, "Neelix," he said softly, Neelix turned back. "I was curious if you have any extra bottles of champagne to spare?" 

Neelix's eyes twinkled knowing Chakotay was planning something. "I'll be sure to put one aside for you, just let me know when you'd like it. And how do you like the party so far?" 

"It's really very nice," he replied. Neelix smiled and walked away. He started heading towards Kathryn again when someone else stopped to talk with him. 

Kathryn managed to excuse herself from Harry and Jenny, but also got waylaid by another crewmember. This went on for most of the party, as they kept stealing glances at each other from across the room. Kathryn managed to finally snag Neelix during that time. "Neelix I didn't win the exchange, did I?" 

"Captain I thought you decided," he claimed, "that you didn't want to know." 

“Well, I don't," Kathryn said. "But I was just curious." 

He studied her for a moment, he could see in her eyes she didn't want to win. He patted her arm gently, "don't worry Captain," he walked away. 

Within the hour, everyone was beginning to get anxious and began asking Neelix to announce the winners. Satisfied everyone was feeling romantic, Neelix obliged and took a padd with him after making sure everyone's glasses were filled with champagne. Tom helped him get everyone's attention by tapping a spoon on a glass. Everyone turned towards the center quieting and waiting. 

Kathryn stood on the other side of the room, just inside the small circle that formed around Neelix. Chakotay was on the other side. They both stared at each other with soft smiles. 

Chakotay had obtained the bottle of champagne from Neelix shortly before and managed to get it to his quarters to chill before the party ended. He had returned just as Neelix finished filling the last glass, his. 

"Okay, everyone," he said, "this is the moment you've been waiting for. First of all, let me thank Captain Janeway for allowing this wonderful exchange," everyone applauded. Kathryn's color rose and she smiled at everyone with a nod. "All the roses were given out and I think crewmembers finally got together who've been wanting to." 

"Come on Neelix!" someone said from the back. 

"Yeah!" another shouted. 

Neelix chuckled, "okay!" He paused glancing at the padd, “for the second runners-up, Lieutenants Joe Carey and Megan Delaney." Everyone applauded as the two made it to the center. "With this, both will receive an extra week's replicator rations." He paused, "our first runners-up are own command team, Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay!" Everyone applauded and whistled and Kathryn smiled blushing visibly. Chakotay took his moment, walked over to her smiling and slipping an arm around her waist. She buried her face in his shoulder. 

"Both the Captain and Commander will receive each an extra week's replicator rations and an extra hour on the holodeck." He paused again, "and our winner's are," everyone was quiet. "Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Jenny Delaney." 

"Way to go Harry!" Tom yelled applauding loudly. 

Harry was blushing, Jenny smiled hooking her arm with his. "Both Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Delaney will receive not only a week's replicator rations, but two days on the holodeck." He sighed, "please everyone enjoy yourselves." 

Chakotay stared down at Kathryn, she smiled at him, "almost alone at last," he whispered, desperately wanting to kiss her. 

"Almost," she replied softly. 

=/\=

A little over an hour later, the party was winding down and that's when both thanked Neelix for an excellent party and left. He walked her back to her quarters, the corridor was busy with other officers, so he didn't kiss her. 

They stood in front of her quarters, she stared up at him, "I'll see you shortly Kathryn," he said softly, turned and walked away. 

Kathryn watched him walk down towards his quarters at the end of the corridor. She turned, walked into her quarters and headed to her bathroom to freshen up for his arrival. She tried to stay calm, but her heart was beating rapidly and breathe growing shallow. She had the computer play some soft jazz to help relax her, which it began to. She walked over to her table and began lighting some candles, it had been almost twenty minutes since Chakotay had left her outside. 

Suddenly she heard the whine of a transporter beam and turned watching him as he solidified in the middle of her room holding a bottle of champagne. She smiled wryly at him, "now that's creative," she said impressed. 

He shrugged walking over to her, "the corridor wouldn’t clear. I didn't want to wait all night or let this get warm," he put the bottle on the table. "Neelix spared a bottle for us." 

"Great idea," she said, he slid his arms around her waist pulling her against him, and she gasped softly, her nervousness still felt. 

"I love the music," he told her, staring at her. He kissed her deeply, drawing her tighter against him. 

Kathryn opened her mouth against his responding back, she wrapped her arms around him to keep from falling, her legs felt weak. She groaned into his mouth, his kiss grew more passionate as his blood soared. 

He gazed at her a few moments later, "I love you Kathryn," her eyes were filled with passion. He stroked her face tenderly, “where's your glasses?" 

Kathryn's feet were rooted to the floor as she stared up at him. She had to find her voice, she sighed, "over...here," and managed to pull away from him. She walked around him and over to a small cabinet next to the replicator where she kept her dishes. She opened it, pulled out two champagne flutes and turned placing them on the table. He had the bottle opened and poured them each a glass. 

He picked up the glasses and she walked around to him, he handed it to her. Then he chimed them, "to our future, wherever we end up. Here in the Delta or Alpha Quadrants." 

"To us," she whispered and they drank some. After a few moments, he put their glasses on the table, took her hand and pulled her against him. He wrapped his arm around her waist, she stared up at him. "I love you Chakotay." 

He stared at her, "I love you Kathryn," he walked them away from the table. He then moved her in a small circle beginning to dance slowly. 

Kathryn gasped at this new discovery of him, "Chakotay! You can dance?"

He smiled at her, “yes," he kissed her gently. 

She responded and pulled away, her eyes glowed, "how come I never knew this before?"

He sighed, "well,” dancing isn't part of a first officer's duty." She laughed softly, he did as well, loving how her face lit up. "It's part -" he quickly dipped her, she gasped in surprise. "Of your lover's duty," and pulled her up quick again. Her breath was becoming shallow as he danced with her, he then turned her out and pulled her back to him. His heart pounded, he could feel himself growing more aroused as he danced with her. 

Kathryn's heart fluttered as he moved with her, she could feel his arousal and her insides grew warm. She pressed herself against him tighter, he groaned deep in his throat, "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he whispered, the passion heard. He kissed her deeply and passionately, she responded with just as much. He slowed them, his hand slid up her back slowly, caressing her over the blouse. She shivered against him, his fingers found her bra clasp and he released it. She moaned softly against his mouth. He gazed at her, feeling the passion, "are you okay with this Kathryn? I'll wait -" 

She nodded, " -yes, Chakotay, I want to. I love you so much." 

“I want you," he whispered, "and I love you," he gently spun her out once more, pulled her back towards him, this time with her back against him. He kissed her neck softly while sliding his hands up her slowly. She groaned arching her back against him, his hand caressed her gently. First over her blouse and stroking her breasts, his fingers began to unbutton the blouse slowly, she shuddered closing her eyes. Satisfied the blouse was open enough, he put his hands inside touching her abdomen. 

"Chakotay!" she whispered passionately as she felt his hands slide up her. She gasped with a groan when he cupped her breasts, free of the bra. Her buds hardened against his palms as he caressed them. She could barely stand at this moment, as the pleasure swam through her. She turned in his arms kissing him passionately, he responded holding her. Their heartbeats merging as one, leaving them gasping. She clung to him, his hands were on her back, her buttocks as he caressed her over the trousers, then sliding his hands inside. She gazed at him, "make love to me Chakotay, please." 

He kissed her passionately again lifting her into his arms walking them over and into her bedroom. He lowered her on the side of the bed and she finished unbuttoning her blouse, he slid it off her and the bra. She reached out pulling up his shirt, he assisted her by pulling his shirt and vest over his head revealing a strong, powerful and bronzed chest with fine hair across it. She leaned over kissing his throat and chest, he groaned running his hands through her hair. 

"Kathryn!" he whispered as she explored him, her hands sliding down to his trousers, unfastening them. He took her face in his hands kissing her passionately again and lowered her to the bed, pressing his body against hers. 

She arched her back against him as his hands caressed her. The rest of their clothing was quickly shed, she moaned feeling his body against hers. His hardness was pressed against her abdomen, pulsating with such heat she'd thought she was going to explode. He began kissing down her, taking a hard risen bud in his mouth. She cried out, running her hands through his hair, as he savored them deeply. 

She tasted sweet, of lilacs and vanilla, she was so beautiful. He kissed lower, stroking the small uprise of her abdomen, and then kissing it. She moaned beneath him and cried out when his fingers stroked her arousal and found her already moist and ready for him. 

He wasn't sure how much longer he could wait, the passion was building to such an extreme, he was sure they were going to ignite. He kissed her lower and placed his mouth on her, she cried out gripping the bedcovers and felt her body shudder. He drank from her, her cries filled him and the room, as he felt her body tremor again and again. 

He slid up against her kissing her passionately again, she responded tasting herself and him. She slid her legs around his hips, he caressed her sides and the curves of her breasts. "Now!" she whispered passionately. “Please!" 

He kissed her face, he groaned and positioned himself against her, "open your eyes Kathryn, I want to see you." 

She opened her eyes, staring up into his dark eyes that were filled with the passion and love he had for her. "I love you Chakotay," she whispered. 

"I love you," he said passionately and kissed her again deeply. 

She felt him join them quickly and deeply, the discomfort at first shot through her. She cried out against his mouth clinging to him. He began to move against her, drawing her hips tighter against his. 

The pain ebbed slowly from her as she let his body fill hers, but she still cried out, not all in pleasure. She wanted this, she loved him, and she knew it'd get better shortly. He kissed her face gently and then gazed at her, his hips still moving, "did I hurt you -?" 

She reached up touching his mouth, "-it's okay. It's just been awhile," she groaned when he moved a little deeper and harder. He felt how tight she was, knew it had been a long time for her, but she felt so good. He wanted to be gentle, but at this moment and time he wanted her so much, it'd have to wait. He let her body adjust to his slowly, letting him in deeper. She clung to him tightly, when the passion took her again, she wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing him to go even deeper. 

Soon as her body accepted him fully, he picked up his strokes again. She shuddered beneath him and cried out again in the pleasure. He began to move harder now, filling her completely. 

She felt her body shudder again, the ache growing tighter inside her, sweeter and more intense. Her breath was shallow against his shoulder as she clung to him. He lifted her closer beginning to move faster, the ache crested again, more intense. She cried out, she didn't want it to end yet, she had waited so long to make love with him. 

She rolled over onto him moving her hips against his. She sat up a little and he held her hips, guiding her against him. She stared down at him, stroking his chest as he sat up kissing her breasts, savoring them. She groaned arching her back, the ache returned, building in her and she moved harder now. 

He groaned against her as she controlled it at the moment. He could feel her inner muscles begin to clench around him. She cried out again, he stroked her back and she lowered her head down to his as they kissed passionately again. Her hips moved harder and faster against his, her breathing came in short gasps now growing louder each time. 

He took over now laying her back against the bed, "you're so beautiful!" He groaned against her moving harder, she cried out even more. It aroused him more, the pleasure that was washing through her, she arched her back against him, pressing him deeper and up against her small bundle of nerves. The ache was growing deeper and more intense. He kept moving, her cries were growing into screams, he groaned against her, now moving faster. Her muscles clenched him tighter as each shudder drew her closer. 

Suddenly the pressure built up and she felt her body shudder so violently and deeply, it traveled to each of her nerve endings. She screamed clinging to him, the tears spilled down her face. 

He held her and groaned when he felt her orgasm as her muscles clenched him tightly. He continued to move against her, feeling his and she moved her hips with his, he moved deeper again groaning against her. She kissed him again deeply, her body shuddered again and she cried out. 

He moved deeper and harder now, the pressure building. She was arching against him, pulling him tighter against her. He felt his release and cried out embracing her tightly as she felt hers for the second time, screaming. 

Chakotay collapsed against her catching his breath, as she gasped beneath him. She began to cry softly, her body still quaking from the experience, her body being denied this pleasure for so long. He held her gently, kissing her face and drying her tears, her eyes bright and clear. "I love you Kathryn," he said gently and kissed her gently. 

She responded holding him against her, her tears calming. He stroked her hair and face, he gazed at her, "I love you Chakotay. You're so wonderful." 

"You’re beautiful," he said tenderly, he then rolled off her pulling her with him and against him. She stroked his face gently, touching that dimple in the center of his chin that she wanted to do for so long. They were quiet, absorbing each other into their souls. After a moment he said, "I never knew you could be so vocal." 

She smiled at him, "neither did I," and he smiled kissing her gently. She held him, his hands slid down her sides stroking. Her body became aroused again, and she gasped when he cupped her breasts, stroking her buds to peaks, "I love you Chakotay." 

"I love you Kathryn," he replied tenderly, wanting her again. This time he wanted to take his time. 

She stared into his eyes, cupping his face gently. One hand continued to caress her breasts, the other caressed slowly down to her womanhood. His hand found it and began to caress her gently, she cried out softly. Her legs opened to him, and she groaned when his fingers slid gently into her, beginning to probe gently. He caressed her deeply, pushing gently against her nerve bundle. She cried out again, her body shuddering against him. 

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as she clung to him. She wrapped a leg around his hip, allowing him to probe deeper. 

She whimpered moving her hips against his hand, her breathing became harsher, the ache becoming known and building in the pit of her stomach. "Chak-o-tay!" she groaned, "don't stop." 

“Never," he told her, letting her feel the pleasure of what he was doing. She closed her eyes, her body arching to his and he took a hard bud in his mouth, savoring it gently. She cried out softly holding his head, his hand continued to move within her. He felt her muscles clench again and again. He knew she was close, he pressed the nerve bundle again, she whimpered as the ache grew more. 

"I want you," she groaned, "inside me Chakotay! Please!" 

He kissed her gently, she responded and he gazed at her, "no my love. Not yet, I want to see you, to feel you as it happens." The tears spilled down her face, he wiped them away with his free hand, her insides were so moist for him, and he was tempted to join them, but didn't. He wanted it all to be perfect. 

Her body shuddered against his fingers, she clung to him whimpering. She sighed, “faster -" he did and she cried out as he increased the stroking. Her hips moved against his hand as he went deeper. She felt her body shudder again, she cried out, the pressure was building so much, she thought she were going to explode. She cried out, "Cha-ko-tay! Oh my god!" 

"Let it come, my love," he told her tenderly. 

Kathryn felt the pleasure crest again, more intense and deeper. She groaned clinging to him and suddenly felt the ache grow and explode, spreading through her lower body, she cried out arching her back to him, gasping. He felt her release, he kissed her gently wrapping his arms around her. 

She cried in his arms as he held her, "oh my god! I've never felt anything like that before." 

He stroked her back tenderly, "it's okay Kathryn, and you’re so beautiful. After all these years of command and no intimacy, it's going to show." 

She gazed at him, he dried her face and kissed her tenderly. She responded and he pressed himself to her, she lay against the bed as he now lay against her, stroking her gently still kissing her. 

She wrapped her arms around him, her legs opened for him as she wrapped them around his hips. He stroked her sides gently and rolled her over onto him, he kissed her face and throat. She held him and sat up, he did as well cupping her breasts, stroking her buds. He began to kiss lower and took one in his mouth, she sighed holding his head. 

She could feel his hardness against her back, the warmth spread to her lower body again. She wanted him again. She arched her back, he kissed lower holding her. She kissed him again and slowly slid back some, taking his member in her hands, stroking him. He groaned, "Kathryn!" 

"You pleasured me," she whispered passionately. "Let me do the same for you," and continued to stroke him, marveled at his size and length. He groaned again, his body shuddered. She was ready for him, she wanted to complete their love. So she slowly raised herself above him, guiding him slowly into her as she lowered herself onto him. 

They groaned embracing each other tightly. They sat there for a moment as he filled her and she began to move her hips slowly against his. They began to rock gently, he took her face in his hands, kissing her tenderly. 

The tenderness and love surrounded them as they held each other. They continued to rock still, she gasped when he moved deeper into her. "I love you,” she whispered. 

"I love you!" he responded, he held her hips, guiding her deeper. 

The pleasure coursed through them in ebbs, the ache matching each of them, they groaned as it traveled through each other. Building even more so, she moved her hips slightly harder now, he groaned. “Take your time," he whispered cupping her breasts. 

She whimpered, "I don't want to -" 

"-Try," he told her tenderly. She cried out again, "make it last, my love." 

Her chest was feeling tight with tears that were building. He helped guide her slowly and gently, each move pressed against her bundle of nerves. She forced the ache back, doing as he suggested. 

She kissed him again gently, he responded holding her. The ache wasn't dissipating, if this was going to last they would have to try something else. "Chakotay, try -" and groaned when her body shuddered. 

He understood, he lowered her back down to the bed and balanced himself on his elbows, moving gently against her. They stared at each other, she caressed his face, "that better?" He asked her. 

She nodded, “yes -I love you so much." 

"I love you," he said and kissed her gently. He then lifted her legs up and over his shoulders, kneeling and he began to move deeper, his hips in circles. She groaned reaching up and grabbing his arms, feeling him change his strokes. This was the greatest feeling she had felt so far, she moaned closing her eyes letting her body ride the tide of this new pleasure. 

He watched her, she was moaning as he continued, she was so moist as he moved in her, welcoming him. But now, it was starting to build for him, soon they wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer. 

Her body shuddered again, a little deeper, she gasped and he lowered himself down to her, her legs sliding over his shoulders as he kissed her deeply. That move made him go much deeper, a little harder. She groaned clinging to him, “oh my god!" He now continued to move a little harder and deeper into her, she cried out wanting to lower her legs to allow him deeper access. "Cha-ko-tay! Don't stop!" 

“Never!" he groaned and knelt again holding her legs up. He moved still in circles and she cried out again when he hit a spot she liked. 

"There!" she moaned and he held it, stroking her in that one spot, the ache began to build inside her again, stronger, more powerful. Her muscles clenched around him tighter and he began to move harder into her, she cried out clinging to him. Her breathing was in short gasps now, slowly rising to a scream. 

He continued to move harder against her, holding her hips tighter against his. “You're so beautiful!" he whispered and began to move faster against her. 

The ache was almost unbearable, her body shuddered intensely again. He began to move even harder and faster, his release very close. They clung to each other tightly, her screams filled his heart and the cabin. 

Then just as before, her body shuddered violently, seemed more so this time, the pleasure coursed through to her nerve endings causing her to arch her back and scream clinging tightly to him. He felt his release the moment her muscles clamped down hard on him and he groaned embracing her burying his face in her neck and hair. 

They lay gasping in each other's arms, their skin damp from the passion. After several moments, he looked at her and they smiled at each other. He stroked some hair off her face gently, “your so beautiful Kathryn." 

She touched the dimple on his chin, "so are you. I love you Chakotay." 

"I love you," he said gently. He kissed her gently and she responded holding him. He rolled beside her taking her with him, she curled up against him. She put her head on his shoulder as he held her. They lay there quietly listening to the quiet hum of the ship's engines and their heartbeats. 

Chakotay stroked her hair gently, he glanced around noticing the bedcovers were a mess. He managed to pull part of her twisted quilt and sheet from beneath them and over, covering them in the warmth. He sighed, "perhaps you should consider soundproofing your quarters," he said with some amusement. 

Kathryn smiled and propped herself up on his chest staring down at him, "really? I'm that loud?" 

He shrugged, “just a little," he traced her jaw line gently. "But I love it, just like I love you. You can scream as much as you want to, my love." 

She smiled softly at him, "I never knew how much I missed making love until you showed me. Oh Chakotay, what are we going to do now?" 

"What do you mean?" he asked. 

"The crew," she replied with a sigh. "How are we going to conduct ourselves -?" 

He took her face in his hands gently making her look at him. "Kathryn," he said gently, "we'll conduct ourselves like we always have, as professionals, as officers. But, it'll take all my strength for me not to take that uniform of yours off and make love to you in the ready room." 

She raised her eyebrow at him, "you wouldn't?" He stared at her, amusement seen in his eyes, she was getting worried that he'd really do it. "Chakotay! Tell me!" 

He laughed, kissed her tenderly and said, “I'd be so tempted, but no, I don't think I'd compromise our command structure that way." He ran his hand down her smooth back with soft feathery strokes. She shivered and kissed his chest in response, he added, "but there is a turbo-lift or a jefferies tube –” 

Kathryn lifted her head in shock, " -what? Chakotay, on duty?" 

"Wouldn't it excite you just a little?" he asked her curiously. She stared at him, he slid his hand over her buttocks stroking. She sighed feeling her insides begin to warm again. The idea of making love elsewhere on the ship did intrigue her slightly, it was during the duty shift that made her uneasy. He reached out stroking her face, "Kathryn?" 

She gazed at him, "I don't know about that. I mean, Chakotay we're not cadets or ensigns on our first mission -I don't know." 

He stared at her, she was shifting from Kathryn to captain again, and he didn't want that, not after just making love. He sighed, "okay, how about we just practice as if we're on duty and somewhere else on board?" 

Kathryn perked a little at the suggestion, “well practice is a good idea," she surprised herself on how seductive she just sounded. She pressed her body against his and whispered seductively, "perhaps we should try some tactical training, commander?" 

He smiled at her, understanding what she was saying, "tactical training, huh?" He quickly rolled over onto her placing a kiss on her throat, she sighed tilting back her head. "And where," he whispered placing a kiss on her mouth, "shall we start?" 

Her heart quickened as she felt him become hard against her, she fought to stay within the game. She moaned, "definitely not rules and -" he slid between her legs, she gasped. "Regulations," she slid her hands down his back and to his buttocks caressing gently. "Actually I think a direct-" he joined them, she groaned sliding her hips around his hips. “Simulation."

He kissed her deeply and moved his hips against her, he whispered kissing her face, "simulation sounds like a good idea." 

She held his hips, guiding him, she groaned feeling the pleasure build in her. Her legs slid around his waist allowing him to go deeper, "oh -that definitely sounds good," he touched the spot she favored and she arched her back moving her hips against his. She moaned as she felt the ache build in the pit of her stomach. He began to move his hips in small circles, she groaned loudly clutching him tightly. 

The pressure was building in him as he moved within her, her body moved with his. It was such sweet joy being with her and he loved her more than life itself. He felt their heartbeats become one and he kissed her lovingly and deeply. 

She groaned deep in her throat as it built, crested and her body shuddered. "I love you Chakotay!" she breathed, her breath becoming short.

"I love you,” he groaned and suddenly took a chance, it seemed right. "Marry me Kathryn!" 

She moaned, but heard what he said, her eyes flew open, "what?" 

Chakotay kissed her deeply beginning to move harder against her. She slid her hands up his back taking his face in her hands, the pleasure was coursing through her intensely. She gazed at him, "marry me Kathryn Janeway," he said gasping as they gazed at each other. 

He did ask her, she couldn't believe it and while they were making love. She wasn't sure if he was asking because the passion was overwhelming. She wanted to hear him ask any other time, but this time. Could she take him so seriously at this moment? 

"Chak-o-tay!" she groaned, she couldn't respond to him. The ache was building stronger and deeper. She cried out as her body shuddered deeply, he held her tighter and whimpered, tears filling her eyes. 

"You're so beautiful!" he groaned burying his face in her neck and hair. He moved faster now, her muscles clenched him. She began gasping sharply as it built and she began to scream. 

He kissed her quiet as she clung to him and cried out against his mouth when her body shuddered violently, the tears spilled down her face as she gasped clinging to him. He felt his release and groaned collapsing against her as his life spilled into her. 

She began to cry and he held her stroking her hair gently. The tears wouldn't stop now, she wasn't sure if she were happy or not by his proposal. He lay next to her pulling her against him, holding her lovingly. 

"It's okay Kathryn," he said tenderly as her tears fell. "Everything will be okay," she buried her head on his shoulder, beginning to quiet, his stroking calming her. 

After several minutes she sighed wiping her face, everything becoming still and quiet. She sighed wondering how to ask him about it, but she decided the direct way was better, always was. "Chakotay-" she said quietly. 

"-Yes my love," he replied. 

"What you said," she sighed, "while we were making love. Did you mean it?" 

He was quiet, she propped herself up on his chest gazing at him. “I meant every word," he told her, hoping she wouldn't bolt, not after what they just shared. She gazed downward, he reached out touching her chin making her look at him, "Kathryn I love you and I want to marry you, why is that so hard to hear?" 

"I don't know," she replied, her voice breaking. "It’s just, I...never expected to hear it, least of all tonight." 

He sighed, ran a hand up into her hair gently, "Kathryn we've just spent our evening making love for the first time, and my emotions were wrapped up in everything I was feeling. I've felt this for you for the longest time, during that moment it just seemed the right time to ask." She still stared at him, her eyes grew moist again, "will you marry me Kathryn?" 

"Oh Chakotay," she whispered touching his face gently. "I don't...know. I need to think about this. Please," a tear streamed down her face.

He stared at her, disappointed she didn't accept, but this was all a shock for her. He'd give her time to think, for a short while at least. He sighed, “okay, but I won't let the matter rest." 

Kathryn nodded, "okay," she stretched up kissing him gently, he responded as they wrapped their arms around each other. After a moment she placed her head on his chest closing her eyes, he stroked her back. “I love you," she whispered. 

"I love you," he replied and she fell asleep, he soon followed. 

Kathryn's eyes opened slowly to the darkness of her bedroom, her music still being heard softly from the living area. She sighed glancing beside her seeing Chakotay still asleep. She sighed sitting up some, his proposal sticking out in her mind... 

...”Will you marry me Kathryn?" he had asked her... 

What was she going to say or do? Could Voyager's command team, command this crew and manage being married to each other? She wasn't sure, their affair was breaching protocol enough, but marriage? 

She loved him, he loved her, this should be a simple matter, but it wasn't, not for her. She had so many factors to consider again, she hoped he'd remain patient. She glanced over at her chronometer, 0500. They had a little time before duty. 

Kathryn sighed curling against him, drawing the heat from his body. He sighed wrapping an arm around her gently. After a moment he opened his eyes, he turned his head finding her lying comfortably against him. He smiled, loving the sight, she opened her eyes gazing at him, "goodmorning," he said. 

"Goodmorning," she said stroking his face. 

"What time is it?" 

"0500," she replied with a sigh. "We don't have to be on duty for another two hours." 

"Can't sleep?" he asked curious. 

"I'm fine," she said with a shrug, "I just wake up sometimes, that's all." 

He smiled gently, "sort of an internal yellow alert?" 

She thought about it for a moment, then sighed, "I suppose that could be it. I never thought about it." 

Chakotay reached up kissing her gently, she responded. He wasn't going to press the marriage issue with her right now. They had a little time before duty and he wanted to make love to her again. He kissed her face whispering, "I'm going to take advantage of that possibility." 

She moaned softly as his hands caressed her gently, "oh, please do," and he kissed her gently again, wrapping his arms around her. She wrapped hers around him as he rolled over against her, pressing her into the mattress. He caressed her gently, tenderly, she arched her back to him when he cupped her breasts, and she sighed in the pleasure. "I love you Chakotay," she breathed, and groaned when he took a hard bud in his mouth. He savored it gently, she held his head, running her hands through his hair. He kissed her again deeply, she responded feeling his hands caress her and to her womanhood as he shaped out her waist and the gentle flair of her hips. He touched her gently and she sighed, her legs parted for him slowly admitting him. 

“Kathryn," he whispered kissing her still, “you're so beautiful," she caressed his back and shoulders, holding him against her.

"Chakotay," she said softly, she slid her legs around his hips, and he groaned feeling her. "Don't stop," she told him. 

“Never," he groaned kissing her again. “I love you," and they held each other making love tenderly before duty would transform them back into captain and first officer. 

Shortly later they lay spooned in each other's arms, dreading the thought of going to duty. He glanced at her chronometer, 0615. He had to leave to get ready, as much as he hated it. He stroked her shoulder, "Kathryn –” he sighed. 

"-I know," she replied softly and turned to him. "Last night was wonderful and beautiful. I love you." 

He kissed her gently, "I love you." They stared at each other, "I'll pick you up for breakfast in twenty minutes, okay?" 

She nodded, "okay,” he kissed her quickly again and removed himself from her arms and bed. She watched him walk around her bed picking up his clothes, he pulled on his boxer shorts, and she smiled at him. "I love you," she said with a smile. 

He smiled at her, "I love you, now don't be late." His heart still ached because she hadn't responded to his proposal, but he wouldn't let it show. He called for a site-to-site transport and shimmered out of her bedroom and into his. 

Kathryn lay there for a moment, and then sat up with a sigh. She ran her hands through her hair, catching the scent of him on her skin. She was so happy this finally happened, but she also couldn't help but feel somewhat sad. The proposal of marriage, he meant it. 

She groaned and threw back her bedcovers and slid out of bed walking naked into her bathroom to shower and ready for duty. As she showered, she remembered his mouth and hands on her, his body inside hers, which made her aroused again. She suddenly couldn't wait until the shift ended, so they could return to her quarters for more lovemaking. At this moment, she realized she was hungry for him, more than she'd ever known. 

Stop it! She commanded to herself. She sighed finishing up and dried herself off. She put on fresh underwear and then added her make-up and fixed her hair. 

Minutes later she was captain again, dressed in her uniform. But she stood at the foot of the bed, gazing at the messed bedcovers, pillows and the powerful scent of their lovemaking surrounding her. Sighing, she began to pull the bed together again and just finished when her door chime rang. She straightened, walked out and to her doors, they slid open revealing Chakotay standing fresh from his shower and in a neat uniform. She smiled at him, happy to see him.

"Ready?” he asked her, she looked beautiful.

She nodded, “Yes," she replied and he leaned over kissing her gently. The corridor was clear for the moment. She responded, pulled him inside and into her arms, he wrapped his around her. She pulled away after a moment "let's us eat in tonight."

He smiled gazing at her, "sounds good. Come on, we don't want to be late," she hooked her arm with his and they left for a quick breakfast and for duty. Both deeply in love, but deeply saddened with the proposal hanging in the air. 

-To Be Continued with The Sound of His Voice

The End 

Feedback Would Be Appreciated.


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